My short Independence Day Speech

You know whenever I read about our Constitution; it makes me wonder, as to what is independence? Was it just a day? Or was it a starting point of something significant? What has happened to India isn’t just the result of India but also a combination of the inconsistencies across the globe and co-incidences?

Irrespective of how we have come along these 64 years, I still can say, India is its own competitor and one needs to look in before looking out. I never realized much about being an Indian when I was in India, because I didn't quite realize what it feels and over the last few years, whenever I am outside of country, my passport (which is the defining factor mostly) speaks a lot and then we meet people. Many are informed about India through different opinions and all I add is another opinion from a Indian perspective. Believe me, there are several perspectives to a particular thing just like we have several Gods and Goddess in our mythology. We fight to prove our perspectives are right, but I guess I realized that's the beauty of the country I was born.

"All differences in this world are of degree, and not of kind, because oneness is the secret of everything." - Swami Vivekananda

India over the years has made people give their opinions and that I feel is a freedom of speech. So in that sense I am independent to give out my opinions. That's fine until now. I sense we need to move ahead and take a step forward with conviction that action speaks louder than opinions. I believe we are seeking to be independent more than ever before, at least in my generation of living. We the people haven't realized the power of the government that is made by people alone. We need to understand the importance of being a drop and its contribution to the ocean. I seek our country to be more self aware and for that each individual to be self-aware before going out and condemning things.

Like Swami Vivekananda said - "The goal of mankind is knowledge... now this knowledge is inherent in man. No knowledge comes from outside: it is all inside. What we say a man 'knows', should, in strict psychological language, be what he 'discovers' or 'unveils'; what man 'learns' is really what he discovers by taking the cover off his own soul, which is a mine of infinite knowledge."

India is merely a geographical land if we remove the masses from it. So in that sense I have to think of the power we people hold. We can accept, we can change and at times we can hope for the better.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and no good thing ever dies" - Shawshank Redemption

Connecting Dots of One's Life

Life is a series of dots that we hop or connect during the course of our stay in this world. Each dot represents a momentary feeling that makes us go to the extremes in the emotion quotient. At the same time some are balanced emotional diet to live with.

It’s been a series of dot trips I have had over the past few years; and each represented a significant milestone in some sorts. Not sure how, but somehow I have left a particular dot with some confidence that one day this dot did help me complete the picture. I am no harbinger to pin point exactly how or what significance each dot holds at the moment; bluntly confident enough to say it will for sure.

I quote this line and sometimes did use previously – “The world we live is cynical” if not, at least the events that occur makes us believe it to be cynical”. Yes some part of it is from the movie ‘Jerry Maguire’ and rest is based on my experience. It is our confidence, beliefs, choices and opportunities we make out of things that life dishes out each day, determines the level of cynicism we end up living with.

I ask myself why I chose this particular field. And to be honest, I am not confident in saying this is where I will be in ‘X’ number of years. But the inner fire ignites and gives me a feeling; I will reach that point in life, however unclear it seems at the moment.

How do I identify that particular dot in my life, if I ever to reach in the future? Guess it is all related to my present and to an extent my past life. I cannot change my past but can always look at my present in a different way and move on with it. It isn’t a crime to get stuck with a particular dot, but failing to make an attempt to move, in order to get to the next dot is a crime. Well that’s how I choose to look at it.

Learning from my past, all I can say - There will be the feeling of being on top of the world which is associated when I do reach that dot. That particular day, I can visualize and even go on to say eloquently about the different dots of my life and how relevant it has been to get to that feeling. Till then, I say to myself - “Keep on hoping from one dot to another; you never know when you actually hit that feel good factor button inside us”. Ultimately it’s all about hitting the feel good factors on more occasions at our dot stops.

P.S – I do not know to define the ‘feel good factor’. So it is better left to one’s interpretation.

Why History

I am browsing the site History.com, i ask myself a question. Why am I so fascinated with history? Its indeed a thought provoking question. In the most neutral sense, it means nothing but my preference over gamut of topics we come across in daily life.

If I ask myself honestly at this moment I can say; I love listening, watching and telling stories. I love sports and movies. To stretch it a bit further, I love the historical journey of my aformentioned favourites in particular.

This doesnt mean, I do not like the present day situation. To me, in order to completely appreciate a particular situation in the present context, I want to know the history behind it. Philosophically, this is how I look at life in general. 'How I was' is an important connection to 'How I am' and a catalyst to 'How I will be'; because in a short time, 'How I am' shall pass and becomes history in due course.

In that sense, history is important and it just gives an indication through which one can fathom how the trend has shaped over time. Paying due respects to the 'present moment', I say, the choices of the present that shapes the future, as well as to come to a point of choosing is dictated heavily by history. Hence, history is a key element according to me to know and to understand anything in general.
I do have resources to learn history but I do feel, we can do a lot more with history. History in some way is awareness, not entirely real, if considered in present context. It is a starter, sometimes more than a appetizer to make choices that would shape my future.

In the end, it is neither history nor astrology that define our lives..... It is 'Present'. And the key element that connects 'Present' is history. Human life is all about being aware and ignorant at the same time. According to me, History helps us to be aware and ignorant; depending on its relevance in our present life.

A totally mirror approach would present the future studies in a similar way. I choose and all these years chose history for several reasons unknown. Sometime in my journey, when I am able to connect more dots, I can refine and put it in a better way as to why I like history.

Sing as though no one's listening

It is one of those days when you are in full song. Quite literally as you walk past the mild fog while humming the song that’s on the mind. I do not intend to think much into why this is happening. In a strange way, I am beginning to like the winter and the coolness associated with it. It's a pain waking up and accidentally touching one's feet on the cold marble floor. It feels like walking on frozen ice. Trust me, in places where there is no provision for centralised heating; it can be quite an experience. But, that's how it is and you know, in the end it’s an experience :-)

I am making my breakfast after having a really hot shower, the feel of which would last few seconds, before the cool ambient air surrounds my body and I run towards my wardrobe. Actually, I don't run, but if I am walking on my barefoot, oh man, it is really running time.

After a long time with Delhi summer, it’s been layered clothing from past two to three weeks. It is good to see people experimenting with lots of combination with their outfits. In fact, I love watching others during winter. When I am walking, exchanging pleasantries is a nice feeling. When fully equipped in the clothes section, I must admit, I love winters all the more.

Coming back to the singer in me, it is something nice when you walk around streets and singing songs from inside. Very oblivious to events around me and all I am bothered is to enrich the experience and feel it completely. In this regard, I love walking more than running, because of it being more rhythmic to my moods. I guess, I haven't mastered to sync the run with my moods when compared with walking. This is my assessment. Is this the feeling, "My Dil goes Hmmmm"? Well, I am trying to ask too many questions here and I don't feel like thinking about it....

This feeling was warmed with the hot mushroom soup which I had few minutes ago. A bonfire with a book is something ideal considering the fact, I am all by myself.... Well, things could be much better; but you don't feel bad...It’s just one of those days when you are in this kind of a mood. One such mode where I am singing it loud as though no one's listening :-)

Can you hear the song I am singing? Is that so, good for you :-)

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Me and my thoughts

I must say, I had a sort of eventful weekend and it was all by myself. I am not sure, how it feels for a lot of people, but from what I have seen and heard, it is clear, we are ourselves when we are left with our own thoughts and choices.
After a long hiatus, I managed to watch the golden classics of Hollywood era. In short, I got a chance to watch movies on my laptop. This year I managed to catch up with a lot of Hindi movies along with my house mates from South Delhi. Now that, guys have gone to their respective stop gap arrangements, I have moved into a new house, infact last week I moved into another house, just a few metres away. It feels different, with cold feet and in a place with no heaters. Yes, it has its own fun, I must admit. After going through a record breaking Delhi summer, I am getting to feel, what the locals say, the best part of Delhi, its winter.
The fog will take some time to make its appearance. The way I have seen them in many Bollywood movies, it sure would feel good walking when fog prevails over Delhi.
Cooking, well, I have been very sporadic in this regard but still managed to cook quite a lot. I like when there are people around me. It brings the chef in me to the fore. Anyways, its a good way to experiment new dishes. And it is always better to try first before letting others to taste them.

Over the past week, running against the cool breeze gave me a good feeling. Running is a good thing, and more than running, I fancy brisk walking where I get a chance to talk to myself and its more rhythmic to the thoughts that comes on my mind. One such thought was - "If you compare yourself with others, you are a socialite; if you compare yourself with your past, you are a genius"

I came up with this line and the next moment, I wondered, what could be the meaning of this. I thought over the aforementioned line, I didnt feel the same because I was fabricating a theory to support this line. Well, I tried again, thinking what if others ask. Still, I wasnt convinced or should say, didnt have any convincing reason to support my line. In the end, after pondering close to ten minutes, I decided to stick with the line without any reason. Whom should I reason with? I feel good with this line and I am pretty sure, I will find the reason along the way. This according to me is the way it should be. Surely, its an instinctive call.

Movies Imitate Life; Life Imitates Movies

Firstly, after a long time I feel, I have to be honest with myself. I was scared or should I say, I used to feel bad whenever people used to call me filmy or here is a guy who talks about movies, relates the real life situations to movies, makes a mockery of songs and has fun by repeating dialogues from the movies.
Yes, that’s me.... Call me anything, because, name is just a matter of opinion. Previously, I was not accepting this aspect of mine, even though I talked a lot about movies.

Of late, I have learnt, people will love the way you are and love being what you are. This blog is to that few people in my life, who irrespective of how crazy and how much I talk about movies, still love me and tells me to be the way I am. I love them.

I come from a family of movie lovers. One can say, I am a guy who has learnt quite a lot of things from movies, it has shown me few things, answered few questions and more over it has had a positive influence on me. My maternal grandfather, my mother and my maternal uncle have been my biggest influencers.

The more I look at the movies, I somehow feel, there is some connection. I always get connected and feel as though, there is an imitation of life. I love connecting to characters if I can benefit from it. After all, life is all about learning. It can be learning to laugh, learning to be disciplined, to achieve goals, what to do and what not to do.

The beauty of life is such that, we cannot allow movie characters or movie themes to dictate our lives. It can give us a direction but it doesn’t walk on behalf of us. It can point towards the answers, but it doesnt say the right one. In the end, it’s merely an indicator, not a decider; an aspect of movies that appealed me. I have to make a choice for my life and it is similar to the disclaimer of the movies - "All characters and stories are merely coincidental."

Inspirations, without them, there wouldn’t be any artists. Art wouldn’t have had any meaning attached to it. When nature can be a source of inspiration, people and places can be a source of inspiration, why can’t movies and certain elements, which in itself is inpsired by these elements be a source of inspiration?

It doesn’t matter.... All I know is, one cannot create things without inspirations, and if value is attached to the end product then who cares about what inspired them. This is to those few people who do care about inspiration and not just the end product. Movies are product of inspirations of various life styles adopted by humans and if one can learn and become better, then why not?

A New Chapter

Eversince I wrote my last blog, I felt all the remaining days, the purpose of I writing all these years came to a progressive conclusion. Things that seemed expressive found new channels and experiences I chose to share also ceased to exist in my chosen stream.

Until few days ago, due to aforementioned reasons or is this a scenario of looking life from different lens, I pondered to share my ever growing experiences. Years or should I say Wonder years of experience has made me look life in a different mode.

Last few months have been a tremendous experience something I have not had in my life. That's positive according to me. You know why - "Its a burning desire from a personal point of view to experience the same old things in a new way"

There is another side to this - As long as we constantly strive to learn from what we have, and where we are, I am pretty sure everyday seems new day; new day with the knowledge of life brewing constantly, it does seem its different.

It's a feeling where its a thin line between, no man's land and the wonderland. I have been there before and it is a good feeling; but with our persepectives constantly evolving day in and day out, Do we actually feel - "I have been there done that before in a similar way?"

I would say no. Things remain the same, because they are things, with no lives. Our surroundings and perceptions change and evolve with constant learning.

Why I stopped writing - In March early this year, I found a meaning to the title I had chosen for this blog. Now, I have found a new purpose. The new purpose is something that has not taken its total shape, as it is energised by my daily actions and listening to one's instincts.
Like I always believed, the juice is in the journey as I have not reached the intellectual state which would confirm my destination. The Ultimate destination.

I think, this new chapter in my life is about this journey. Looking back, it seems as though I did have my moments to realise who I am as a person and how I look at myself.
As it stands, that was just a trailer. Its time to keep the movie going :-)

Out of One's Comfort Zone

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My blog title happens to be the discussion. I chose this title, because it appealed me that time (late 2006). Partly it was inspired by Steve Waugh's autobiography and the other part for the feelings I sensed that time. Four years hence, I feel I can define the comfort zone and what it means to be out of it.
It is definitely not trying or imagining the surroundings around us to be comfortable. It is great if surroundings can look better but what about us?

We ask a lot of questions to the outer world, but do we have time to speak to ourselves? Maybe we don’t want to address our real needs; as it requires taking a leap where we have not been before. And this fear of unknown makes us seek comfort in the external world rather than our internal world.

Living under an illusion is our favourite past time, because we don’t want changes or accept changes.

We are in general quite optimistic about change, but the cynic in us won’t allow accepting it. We succumb to the pressures and it is not that pressure is bad, it’s just that, is it worth taking on the pressures at the sake of losing our identity? Which brings us to the topic of our identity? It is a simple process of being self-aware and being close to it from time to time.

We generally not notice this internal pressure because of our illusion. We choose to remain in the dark because of fear; the light of awareness might blind us instead of believing, the awareness torch shall lead us to the path where we belong.
It is a matter of choice and I personally believe, one can share, discuss about these things because no matter what, eventually it is the personal effort that decides the fate for an individual.

I can say it is better not to seek comfort externally. If we are not comfortable with ourselves (inner self) then we will never be comfortable.

What makes us comfortable? Identifying what we truly want and working towards it. It is a journey and for that trusting one's intuition at all times serves the fuel to propel ourselves on the road to our purpose.

Out of comfort zone doesn’t mean we have to be uncomfortable inside. If we do, first we need to address that immediately. And once we find ourselves comfortable, we can always give and do things in a better way, in fact adjust and also change with greater spirits.

We... The Leaders

Leadership is to lead a ship. As long as you lead and ensure you give it a direction, you are a leader. I am in India after having seen a totally different world for the past one year and I am looking at it from a different perspective. It is not longer just India; it is a place that has given me my identity in this world. (Very rare you are judged just as a person). I have been noticing and after reading texts on ancient history, medieval, modern and present, all I can say at this moment is; it has not changed. It is my perspective and opinions that has evolved. The five elements would exist in any part of the globe, but perspectives about their existence, behaviour is given by us. Yes, we the people.

A country on its own never created boundaries never imposed restrictions upon itself. The limits that exist in each country are courtesy the powerful and several amendments have been made from time to time as the power equations have changed. This seems natural something part of our social evolution. (Something contradictory to the way human freewill has been designed "without limits")

Each country is made to look unique because of the people, and it is the people that define or rather it’s the people that build a country. A country if looked upon as a vast space (say like water body) something like an ocean or any other water source depending on the size (defined politically), each individual is just a drop.

With ever increasing concept of globalisation, we have opportunities to travel, understand and learn different things happenening around the world. Is it good, not good? One can wage a verbal war and it will end up into an endless loop.

I have ambitions of being a leader and the first step towards it is I want to understand the meaning of the word 'leader'. I have various examples to look for, but what suits me? It requires a scenario to bring out a leader in oneself. In my opinion, a leader does not wait for the scenario or beg for one, it comes and he or she shall emerge. That’s leadership. Be it small or big.

It is not about the countries, because on a human level, it is about privileged versus under privileged; strong versus weak.

I want to bring improvements, so let me bring improvements in myself first. I want to purify the surroundings, let me purify my inner surroundings first. I want to change the present conditions, let me change myself first and finally I want to bring peace to this world, first let me bring peace within myself.

To me, the way individuals look at situations brings a leader in him or her. As Swami Vivekananda once said - "The true learning comes from inside out"
Only when we seek for something from inside, the external factor can come into play.

Go out seek what you want, your soul wants, because our inner voice is our teacher. For some when the inner voice is inaudible, several theories and opinions end up acting as a teacher as well. Theories help, but it is bounded by certain limitations. Hence the real experience is our best teacher.

For a leader, I personally believe, one must possess intuition combined with open mindedness and briskness to learn, grow etc. These act as mentors as they constantly communicate and guide to the leader's path of purpose.

Do not look or wait for situations, instead discover and nurture the leader in you. You never know when the situation arises..............

In leadership, one deals with creatures of emotions and not creatures of logic.

Birth by Chance, Life by Choice

When I was born, I did not have the option of choosing my parents. The first lesson I learnt over a long time is to accept my birth was by chance, although it was a choice made by my parents. In a way, I am born through choice, not mine though.

Eversince that, apart from the initial growing years, chances started to diminish and choices started to appear more in the radar of my daily life and the routines associated with it. But in general, choices have mostly dependant on chances. Or should I say, choices appear whenver one gets a chance. I am sure, the other way it is not so clear. Pardon me, at this time of writing, I am looking just at the situations and the choices we make for them.

Staying in a non-English speaking country for the best part of this year has taught me a lot about how not to blame others for the situation I am in. So far, I have got lessons of life that, it is up to me to make a situation look better, if not worse. It is so true, when the situation involves very less people.

Infact, as a whole, by making a choice to change the situation itself is a step closer to reality. We become clear and understand ourselves as to why we are doing a particular thing. In one of the management classes, I came across a beautiful term called 'Self -fulfilling prophecy'. It is as a result of opininated mind, that refuses to believe otherwise, unless one becomes open minded and shed the curtains of narrow mindedness or generalisation.

The truth is, do we have the patience to know the truth? Truth itself is a time consuming process, often when you are confident of something it helps to deal with the frustrations of being in the 'waiting' period. By knowing people who are different and react differently, it has helped me a lot to understand the meaning of patience a touch better. And also, it is a chance to acknowledge the different ways of looking at a situation. I know, I do not personally agree or do what others do. And that is where the word 'choice' comes. I would rather embarass myself with the choices I made at a particular time than look for someone to blame. It is tough though.

Humans as we are, emotionally strive for security or rather crave for the feeling of assurity. Although, there are people who do a lot of 'crazy' (something different from the accepted social norms of a particular society) things, it is a general tendency of the majority to seek comfort. Just like the choice of food, we tend to seek comfort in our own ways and it is this aspect that often leads to conflict.

I am trying my best everyday not to draw conclusions over things as they appear. One can make opinions but must also have the temerity to change it as we proceed towards the path of reality. Time does reveal one's true character and understanding can only happen with time. I feel strongly about this.

The dark side of this strong feeling of mine is that, I have to ensure I do not blame others for anything that happens to me. It is so tempting and few times I still ended up doing and then feel a sense of disgust for having done that.

For an indiviual that is how it must be. What about a partnership? Yes, there is an obligation if one enters the partnership. Somewhere at some point of time the extremeties of the partners must be given away to a more amicable one. Thats what team ethics is all about and so far from what I have seen, relationships have flourished when it is made to work from time to time. Not just looking for excuses.

The other person(s) can have an affect on the partnership. There is no denying in that, then but what about ourselves. We have a choice to either play the game of blame, or just move on with life.

Some people are not given choices, I would say, such people seek comfort in not making choices and believe in things to happen by itself. It looks like a general statement, yes it is. More often than not, people do what is comfortable eventhough they endure pain. I have learnt, pain is a part of the process of believing in someone or something.

I love senorita, although there are situations that makes me to think whether it is a right choice? Everytime when the question of choice arises, I close my eyes and listen to my instincts. It has the same answer as it has been before. I trust my instincts and it is entirely my choice. Senorita is different in a lot different ways; but I am happy overall, because my instincts refuse to pose restrictions on senorita and yet makes me to love her, each time, everytime.

In a way, I trust my eyes more, when it is closed. That way, it gives me a chance to listen to my instincts. Instincts have an eye and they are awake all the time. So I trust those eyes more often than what my actual eyes see. It's a choice afterall.

Asked about Ferrari failing this year, Massa said - "We definitely need to analyse our mistakes and understand how they can be avoided, but I don't think it needs a revolution which the always emotional onlookers demand: it would be wrong because it's not a case of us suddenly becoming stupid. It's the playing field that has changed. We must be aware of that and tackle the situation with a different approach."

The Taste of Life - Cadbury's Diary milk

It's a dream to be in the land of chocolates enjoying every moment of the bite. Switzerland, quite rightly is famous for chocolates and they make some awesome ones.
I had a chance to visit the chocolate factory of Nestle twice last month in a space of three days; it was an amazing feeling. Something I just cannot express it through words.
Back when I was a child, just like most children, indulging in chocolates was also my favourite past time. The habit has stayed, and I can sense my childhood days are back, especially seeing my friends here, fighting out for chocolates. It is not about buying new chocolates, we get plenty of them, but one doesn't get a particular brand of chocolate in Swiss, that happens to be 'Cadbury's Diary Milk'.
Coming here, I realised the love I had for Cadburys while I was a child and then as I grew old, be it a quick snack, a gift for someone etc, I relished every moment of it.
Last week, at the UK airport, I could see Cadburys everywhere and for a pound it was a good deal. I bought a big pack (Just for one pound!!!!) and finished it just before I could board the plane. It was an awesome feeling, a sense of deja-vu, reminded me of the days, my grandpa and lot of other people bought me Diary Milk. It reminded me of the ad, the famous ad, featuring models Shimona and Arvin Tucker. The cricket setting was just a perfect theme and it still remains a top advertisement direted by an Indian (Abhinav Deo). Watching this video brought back my playing days of puerility and I just feel fortunate that I was able to remember those days........

Two Guys, a Girl and her Dilemma

A girl having met a guy, who stays in Middle East (X), starts a strange liking to the other guy (Y).
She comes after a gap of one month, with slight poking here and there but no serious conversations or warm greetings, its more out of surprise about how can someone like to converse irrespective of her being recluse.
Interesting, she wonders "I have never come across such a guy (Y), why is he so far from me?"
Blame it on fate or the test of time for this young woman who is discovering the difference between liking someone as a friend and loving someone special.
“I started my conversations with him out of curiosity after seeing his (Y) photograph, he looked good and I just asked him for a friend request. Well after couple of days, he did respond much to my surprise and it’s been three months, he has been surprising me with every conversation I am having with him. I know it was little late meeting him, but I am really not sure how to go about this. Should he just be my friend or someone else? I haven’t seen him, so can I take a risk with this."
She thought more "Like every girl, even I want my guy to be special, the problem here is, Am I too naïve to understand the meaning of ‘special’?
Are there any different feelings associated with the term ‘special’?
For the first time, it is happening and I really do not know whether this is a natural evolution as a woman or is this me liking someone unconditionally.”

Far across, all this guy (Y) does is, wonder what’s happening in his life. One thing is clear, it’s never been a smooth ride, and I guess he has accepted this side of life. Life is full of challenges and with it, he does know, Life and in turn every one will have problems, its just that how well individuals hide. He is excited about her, and he has been trying to make conversations with her. Luck has it; they are just unable to have conversations.
“I am being honest about where I stand even though I am unsure about the balance. I do like someone else before he came into my life. I did put it across to him (Y)regarding this. But he didn’t express his disappointment instead he was happy for me. Now, is it my madness to test people? I am confused. Should I rely on him just to be a friend? I am confident he will be a wonderful friend; will he be a wonderful lover? Lover, dream man, etc?
I am unsure with my own life and future. As a 20 year old, I do not know whom to trust. I keep hearing people being cruel and selfish for their own good. So should I take a chance, go to Middle east for a guy (X) whom I haven’t met yet.
So far, I was in the impression that he was my dream guy (X), until I bumped into this other person (Y). It was an accident, now I like him as well.
I want to do my business studies, so I work part time at a day care, earn some money to fund my studies and go to Dubai.
Well this was my dream… I was excited about it. Now I don’t know.
It’s been three weeks since I contacted him (Y); he is kind, sweet, keeps sending mails. Is he my special person?
I am confused again with two people in my life. I have never met, but just met through instincts of mine. All I can do is recognize their faces through few photos.
I don’t see them flirting with me, coz, its reached another level.
Oh man, I like him (Y) for the fact that he cares for me so much and remembers me.
Although, I do converse with my special one on a regular basis, but this guy I have hardly spoken and still he makes me feel so special. So I sent him an offliner.
“Hey… My dear friend… I want to talk to you badly….”
Everyday he would have slept, but due to unavoidable circumstances he got up early.
Early meant, time to chat with this girl.
He logged on anticipating her to be online after a long time.
His intuition was correct but all he managed was to read the offline messages.
The guy was 3 hours late reading the above message….

And then, things took a big turn in the guy's life that looked as though this girl was more of a distant dream he once considered chasing for.... Life goes on and he has managed to move on without ever wondering, what if???

P.S: This is complete from a draft of March 2008..... Thought will just share

Lazy Boy.... Are you out of focus???

You read about legendary stories, their focus, concentration, dedication and other words that fits here; I was wondering how would they feel when they do not feel like doing anything. Its easy to speak in hindsight and we can always make a good sense of it 'As time goes by', in real, how, is it to feel when one loses focus and just cannot concentrate?

Self doubts creep in at times when you start thinking about the future. We have to prepare for the future but at the same time like everyone have told in their own ways, we must learn to live in the present. Quite opposite when future seems so promising, motivation oozing through the veins with each day that passes by.

Perception is a thing and also how one adapts to that perception matters. I can say but I have to mean it and only when I walk through the channel that parallels my talks, it has some credibility. This aspect is what separates from achievers and wanna be achiever.

An achiever was a wanna be achiever some time back, so one must seek comfort in that, but the comfort zone really ends there, as one has to push certain limits imposed by us previously in order to give birth to the achiever in us.

When chips are down, we tend to lose faith in few things we believed in. Common sense often is the culprit, it makes us believe the dark side of our faith and with time it convinces, unless we fight it out..... The conflict inside us before its too late.

I am going through a phase where laziness is pre-dominant, lack of focus and uncertainity.... I hate this period.... but I have accepted this to be the present behaviour of mine. I want to change and it feels as though I have lost faith. Losing faith doesnt mean I am a pessimist, its the way I come out of this that matters. 'Without self-doubts' one has never succeeded. Its the way one clears the doubts and regain the focus that has made all the difference. One thing is getting clear.... what you focus the most, turns into reality... Until this week, I was out of focus as to where I want to be.....

This week, its a better picture so to say when compared to last week or the previous. I have had a chance to ponder over new opinions or one can say new impressions. In the end, I shut my mind and just allowed my instincts to speak. Just by reflecting on events that have occured in my life made me understand the meaning of faith.

"Faith is believing in something when commonsense tells you not to. Just because things did not turnout the way you want to the first time, you still got to believe in people or something you have hopes on." - The first line is from the Miracle on 34th street, Rest is my interpretation as to why the first line makes sense to me....

I am sure I will fight my way out of laziness and start believing (re-believe) in things that I havent been offlate.

Finally.... The Curse is off his back

Ten years back, same time, I hated the fact of watching Agassi win the French Open thereby becoming one of the very few to have won all four Grand Slams in a career. He surely became a legend considering the fact, he did win an Olympic Gold at the Atlanta Games in 1996. I was a class 10 student, and a pro Sampras fan, didnt like this fact. A degree of tranquility came when Sampras thrashed Agassi in straight sets to win yet another Wimbledon in 1999.

Sampras managed to win one more, before he lost to Roger Federer in the fourth round of 2001 Wimbledon Championships. That was the first and the only time, they both ever met in an ATP tour. I was in tears, at the same time couldnt hate Roger, because he was a good friend and a mixed doubles partner of Martina Hingis (who still is my favourite) when the pair won the Hopman's Cup in early 2001. I was wondering, Did I just see my new hero? Because, I heard a lot of praise of Roger from Sampras and this had an impact on me to like him as well.

Another Swiss halted Sampras in the form of George Bastl in 2002 before winning his last Grand Slam at Flushing Meadows. He retired, although the announcement came late, I knew, he wouldnt come back.

From then, its been all Roger, seeing him win the 2003 Wimbledon gave me so much satisfaction that, I felt, it was time the next King of Grass arrived. Defeats to Nadal at Roland Garros made me pinch myself, each time, so I did till this very year, when Roger won the elusive French Open he completed the career Grand Slam. He needs one more to be one clear of Pete Sampras who has 14 with no French Open. An all time legend - Does anyone doubt? Only cynics I suppose.

The curse of clay is gone, its off from Federer's back, well and truely grounded at Roland Garros today. Ten years, is such a long time and I am in tears, tears of joy. Never I had a chance to enjoy and rejoice someone winning French Open since the glory days of Sergei Brugera in 1993 and 1994.

On a personal front, there is nothing better than being in the home country of Roger's to witness this historic moment in tennis and an historic landmark in his life. And somewhere a sense of triumph for me as well.

Getting Rid of the Past - Do we have to all the time?

I thank for having a decent memory, most times I ensure its put into good use. There are times, when I am all by myself, few scars feel unhealed, although time has gone by, it seems as though they are untouched.
An element called stubborness in me refuses to accept that things have changed; I dont want to be judgemental whether it is good or worse. I am a believer that everything happens for the good, only when no options are left and we resign to what some call 'fate' and few others call 'destiny'.
There were times when things were different, but life is such a puzzle that, we think only our perspective to be the sole solution as to why it changed. Actually, most reactions of ours are as a result of this belief.
It disturbs me, that things didnt pan out the same way it used to. Thats called evolution, maturity, growing up, moving on etc etc
Life as a television with remote control operated by few friends can be quite an experience. It tries its best, to entertain as per the channel desired. With time, there seems to be a trend with few to change the television, because its antiquated and its time for something new.
But, there can also be that, Life has become so busy that, there is no time to watch the television. So, what seemed to be favourite programs in the past, doesnt find a place today. Reality bites, doesnt it.
Its fortunate at times, they get the updates and few might even interest them.
I guess, its time I accept that, things have changed and looking back, it was a good time except for the disconnection, not once but twice.
On a brighter note, there have been new connections, but like I said, one has to pay the price for having a decent memory. Its just that, those memories have to be conditioned and aligned in such a way that, when I look back, I will get a reminder that, afterall I didnt have a bad deal and will know as time goes by as to what caused the disconnection.
Till then, its ok, its good to reflect on what happened. Now I realise and thank the two whom I was constantly in touch and have not lost any respect whatsoever. At times, you do get devilled, but I promise, I never made any conclusions and the book is still open.

"Be the change you want to see in the world"

It all started in 2005, when I was in my final year of Engineering, I got introduced to this character. It was Viren, a friend from college who suggested me to watch the first episode and ever since I have never looked back.

Calm, collective, focussed, determined, fighting for a cause, commitment are just some of the words that comes to my mind. After watching the last episode, I realised, this character was one big influence on me.This series kept me going many times during the last three and half years. It all took four seasons, and thats it, it got its ending.


It all started in a grand fashion, the idea of the series was something out of the box. I was a fan right from the time the series started. The show was popular, wasnt comic, it represented the other side of comedy. The word isnt tragedy, its called 'Life' from another perspective.

Its a thing with me to get attached to the characters, who inspire me, give me hope because they give me a window to have a different perspective of life. This character was no exception.




When I saw this episode, I knew, it was all going to end. So did his character. And, in due respect, I appreciate the director, to have made such an ending, the last five minutes is marvellous.




So what did I learn, many things at different times in my life, it was like a drive, which made me re-discover my buried hopes.
One line I always remember is this - 'Be the Change you want to see in the world'. That just sums it up for me as to why this character will always be an inspiration for me. RIP - Michael Schofield, it was great knowing you.
Here it ends the journey of the series 'Prison Break'.

Without Limits

Five days staying in a room not going out isn’t that great for the mind, body or soul. I managed to do that. I went out to my friend's place to have lunch, we chatted for a while, and then I went to shop some groceries before heading back to The Apartment.
I spent those days, watching movies, hell lot of movies, reading few things on the internet, sleeping, just about cooking to satisfy the hunger bug and few visits to the toilet. I had not touched the main door of my apartment. I managed to survive, although this routine had given birth to certain ghosts. It had because, I can safely say, I am burying them with this blog.

An incident back in 2005 when I won the Sports Quiz at NLS (National Law School, India), I missed a question. I felt bad that I didn’t know about it. In hindsight, there is nothing to feel bad about it, but you see, my heart was shaped that way. It feels the itch, of not knowing certain things. For a while, it itches. Then mind takes over and I don’t have a clue about the itch and how old is it. In my case it was a four-year itch. Thinking about the athlete whose name I missed, has given me a chance to see the life from a different perspective and something I was looking for at the end of 5 days. It was not a panache, but did have some sort of 'Mojo' to bury the ghosts. I feel the change as I continue to write.

The question I missed was about a man, who died at the age of 24. I am 24 now. He was the best athlete American distance running team had in the late 60's and 1970's. He was a distance runner who had his own ideology about running and winning. Winning is nothing when you haven’t given your best. It doesn’t feel the same, when you win without giving one's best. His coach tried to change his philosophy, he couldn’t. He represented the University of Oregon.
He shared a healthy relationship with the coach of the US running team and they both agreed to disagree. Every time, they questioned each other's fundamentals and philosophy of running and winning. But remained good friends till the end.
The first sign of protest came when the athlete took on AAU (Amateur Athletics Union) and demanded athlete’s right to participate when qualified.
He was tipped as one of the favourites to win 5000m Olympic Gold in 1972 at Munich games, eventually losing out to Lasse Viren of Finland. He finished 4th after leading the race till the last lap.
He couldn’t bear the loss. He took some time out, until he was able to come to terms with reality. He distanced himself from his love, because he hated so much that, he didn’t have words to say to the one he loved.
Finally, he started training, refused an offer to turn professional, thereby kicking the chance to earn 200,000 dollars. He went to his coach, tried a new pair of shoes which his coach had made for him. Went for a run and agreed to be an Amateur and seek redemption at the 1976 Olympics in Montreal.
He raced pretty well in the trials and he had planned to set a world record to win the 5000m in 12min 36 seconds. That was the time he had chosen, a world record back then. Those were last words he said to his friend. He dropped his friend and while on his way to his girlfriend, with whom he had just got good terms with, met with an accident while he was forseeing his race and commenting on his possible 1976 performance and how he would shatter the world record.
It wasn’t to be, his car was hit by another car and he was killed on May 30th 1975.
I hope most of the readers are smarter than me; the athlete was Steve Pre Fontaine. Nicknamed ‘Pre’, he was born on January 25th 1951.
Now that name is on, I am sure, there are better websites dedicated to him that will provide his information in detail. I would just like to share few things:

· In 1978, AAU agrees for athlete’s guarantee rights to compete wherever qualified.
· The small shoe company which the coach had inadvertently had begun went on to became what we know today as ‘NIKE’. The coach was none other than Bill Bowerman, founder of Nike.
· ‘Without Limits’ made in 1998 is the name of the movie that depicts the life of ‘Pre’ played by Billy Crudup.

The final words by Bill Bowerman in the movie sums up ‘Pre’ –
“All my life, man and boy, I've operated under the assumption that the main idea in running was to win the race. Naturally, when I became a coach I tried to teach people how to do that. I tried to teach Pre how to do that. Tried like hell to teach Pre to do that. And Pre taught me. Taught me I was wrong. Pre, you see, was troubled by knowing that a mediocre effort can win a race and a magnificent effort can lose one. Winning a race wouldn't necessarily demand that he give it everything he had from start to finish. He never ran any other way. I tried to get him to, God knows I tried... but... Pre was stubborn. He insisted on holding himself to a higher standard than victory. 'A race is a work of art'; that's what he said, that's what he believed and he was out to make it one every step of the way. Of course he wanted to win. Those who saw him compete and those who competed against him were never in any doubt how much he wanted to win, but how he won mattered to him more. ‘Pre’ thought I was a hard case. But he finally got it through my head that the real purpose of running isn't to win a race. It's to test to the limits of the human heart. That he did... Nobody did it more often. Nobody did it better.” That's the ending of the movie.

All I say - Watch the movie, dont think whether to watch it or not - 'JUST DO IT'

Countdown to the D-Day Part I

This very day, April 6th last year will go down as the day that triggered or should say the day that determined my future path. Just as when I had a feeling, I had quite a tough stroll in the park, did a good job of going through it. But it Happened One Evening. The day being a Sunday, 6th of April, 2008. I was able to appreciate it better because of few events that preceded this day. Although, one cannot fathom the relevance, but personally, all the events were important for what I turned out to be on that day.
This goes back to December 2007, when I was making plans about visiting Rajasthan with my mother. It was just two of us. I had made all the plans of visit.
I got a mail from a very revered senior from my college about teaming up for an All India Cricket Quiz, sponsored by History Channel. I agreed. The next few days, it was calls at the most unexpected times, No hello, Just a funda (an appreciated factoid) from cricket would pop up, when I was working, sleeping or while having food. That was the passion he had, or the superior managerial skills to pump up the intensity before a contest.
The quiz was to be held in Delhi on the last week of January 2008. We did well to weather the cold in the first place. It so happened, I got myself acquainted with a friend (Deepthi) of mine in Gurgaon. She was kind enough to allow me stay in her house, make Pav Bhaji one evening, went out with her friends to have a hot cup of chai (tea) in the mid-night. That was cold and never had I experienced so much (2 degrees) before coming to Switzerland.
Pradeep and I dreamt about smashing the quiz in our very own style. This was the second time we paired up as a team, the first one being for the Cricinfo Quiz conducted by Siddhartha Vaidyanathan and George Binoy in Bangalore.
The theme was cricket, and we qualified for the finals and felt a bit warm inside the auditorium. The finals didn’t turn out the way we wanted. We missed quite a few sitters, coming third in the end. We left the auditorium disappointed and off we went to airport. I messaged him early next morning about taking part in the second round at Mumbai.
I was running short of cash, since I had made all the arrangements for a long Rajasthan trip. But, something inside me was haunting throughout. It was a case of redemption for me and for us as a team in general. Its not often we get a chance to prove ourselves that we are one among the league of very good Sports Quizzers in India. We knew we had to do it for ourselves if not for Rs 50000 as cash prize for winners.
A fortnight later, Mumbai it was. On the Valentine’s Day I land in Mumbai. Oh, Ya, Good way to celebrate it, isn’t it? In my case, it was the best possible way to ward off any feelings whatsoever.
Next day, while he had some work to finish, I took this opportunity to meet a good friend of mine Keith. We chatted after a long time, ever since he settled down in Mumbai.
Post Lunch, Pradeep and I were back for some Quizzing action. Bang bang, we were right on target from the go. Topped the prelims by miles and it felt good for us in the finals.
The form continued in the finals as we thrashed everyone by 130 point margin. It was ruthless, felt for a while, as to why I idolise Sachin, Schumacher and Sampras. It was for kicks for being sheer ruthless, not quite the way that undermine others though. It was a point to prove scenario for ourselves. To restore our pride, in some way, lost pride.
“How about the All India Motorsports quiz?” – Pradeep
I said - “We will do it mate”.
While I sat on a late night flight to Bangalore from Mumbai, I wondered, Can we repeat this again. Let’s see, for the moment I was looking forward for my trip to Rajasthan.