Out of One's Comfort Zone

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My blog title happens to be the discussion. I chose this title, because it appealed me that time (late 2006). Partly it was inspired by Steve Waugh's autobiography and the other part for the feelings I sensed that time. Four years hence, I feel I can define the comfort zone and what it means to be out of it.
It is definitely not trying or imagining the surroundings around us to be comfortable. It is great if surroundings can look better but what about us?

We ask a lot of questions to the outer world, but do we have time to speak to ourselves? Maybe we don’t want to address our real needs; as it requires taking a leap where we have not been before. And this fear of unknown makes us seek comfort in the external world rather than our internal world.

Living under an illusion is our favourite past time, because we don’t want changes or accept changes.

We are in general quite optimistic about change, but the cynic in us won’t allow accepting it. We succumb to the pressures and it is not that pressure is bad, it’s just that, is it worth taking on the pressures at the sake of losing our identity? Which brings us to the topic of our identity? It is a simple process of being self-aware and being close to it from time to time.

We generally not notice this internal pressure because of our illusion. We choose to remain in the dark because of fear; the light of awareness might blind us instead of believing, the awareness torch shall lead us to the path where we belong.
It is a matter of choice and I personally believe, one can share, discuss about these things because no matter what, eventually it is the personal effort that decides the fate for an individual.

I can say it is better not to seek comfort externally. If we are not comfortable with ourselves (inner self) then we will never be comfortable.

What makes us comfortable? Identifying what we truly want and working towards it. It is a journey and for that trusting one's intuition at all times serves the fuel to propel ourselves on the road to our purpose.

Out of comfort zone doesn’t mean we have to be uncomfortable inside. If we do, first we need to address that immediately. And once we find ourselves comfortable, we can always give and do things in a better way, in fact adjust and also change with greater spirits.

We... The Leaders

Leadership is to lead a ship. As long as you lead and ensure you give it a direction, you are a leader. I am in India after having seen a totally different world for the past one year and I am looking at it from a different perspective. It is not longer just India; it is a place that has given me my identity in this world. (Very rare you are judged just as a person). I have been noticing and after reading texts on ancient history, medieval, modern and present, all I can say at this moment is; it has not changed. It is my perspective and opinions that has evolved. The five elements would exist in any part of the globe, but perspectives about their existence, behaviour is given by us. Yes, we the people.

A country on its own never created boundaries never imposed restrictions upon itself. The limits that exist in each country are courtesy the powerful and several amendments have been made from time to time as the power equations have changed. This seems natural something part of our social evolution. (Something contradictory to the way human freewill has been designed "without limits")

Each country is made to look unique because of the people, and it is the people that define or rather it’s the people that build a country. A country if looked upon as a vast space (say like water body) something like an ocean or any other water source depending on the size (defined politically), each individual is just a drop.

With ever increasing concept of globalisation, we have opportunities to travel, understand and learn different things happenening around the world. Is it good, not good? One can wage a verbal war and it will end up into an endless loop.

I have ambitions of being a leader and the first step towards it is I want to understand the meaning of the word 'leader'. I have various examples to look for, but what suits me? It requires a scenario to bring out a leader in oneself. In my opinion, a leader does not wait for the scenario or beg for one, it comes and he or she shall emerge. That’s leadership. Be it small or big.

It is not about the countries, because on a human level, it is about privileged versus under privileged; strong versus weak.

I want to bring improvements, so let me bring improvements in myself first. I want to purify the surroundings, let me purify my inner surroundings first. I want to change the present conditions, let me change myself first and finally I want to bring peace to this world, first let me bring peace within myself.

To me, the way individuals look at situations brings a leader in him or her. As Swami Vivekananda once said - "The true learning comes from inside out"
Only when we seek for something from inside, the external factor can come into play.

Go out seek what you want, your soul wants, because our inner voice is our teacher. For some when the inner voice is inaudible, several theories and opinions end up acting as a teacher as well. Theories help, but it is bounded by certain limitations. Hence the real experience is our best teacher.

For a leader, I personally believe, one must possess intuition combined with open mindedness and briskness to learn, grow etc. These act as mentors as they constantly communicate and guide to the leader's path of purpose.

Do not look or wait for situations, instead discover and nurture the leader in you. You never know when the situation arises..............

In leadership, one deals with creatures of emotions and not creatures of logic.

Birth by Chance, Life by Choice

When I was born, I did not have the option of choosing my parents. The first lesson I learnt over a long time is to accept my birth was by chance, although it was a choice made by my parents. In a way, I am born through choice, not mine though.

Eversince that, apart from the initial growing years, chances started to diminish and choices started to appear more in the radar of my daily life and the routines associated with it. But in general, choices have mostly dependant on chances. Or should I say, choices appear whenver one gets a chance. I am sure, the other way it is not so clear. Pardon me, at this time of writing, I am looking just at the situations and the choices we make for them.

Staying in a non-English speaking country for the best part of this year has taught me a lot about how not to blame others for the situation I am in. So far, I have got lessons of life that, it is up to me to make a situation look better, if not worse. It is so true, when the situation involves very less people.

Infact, as a whole, by making a choice to change the situation itself is a step closer to reality. We become clear and understand ourselves as to why we are doing a particular thing. In one of the management classes, I came across a beautiful term called 'Self -fulfilling prophecy'. It is as a result of opininated mind, that refuses to believe otherwise, unless one becomes open minded and shed the curtains of narrow mindedness or generalisation.

The truth is, do we have the patience to know the truth? Truth itself is a time consuming process, often when you are confident of something it helps to deal with the frustrations of being in the 'waiting' period. By knowing people who are different and react differently, it has helped me a lot to understand the meaning of patience a touch better. And also, it is a chance to acknowledge the different ways of looking at a situation. I know, I do not personally agree or do what others do. And that is where the word 'choice' comes. I would rather embarass myself with the choices I made at a particular time than look for someone to blame. It is tough though.

Humans as we are, emotionally strive for security or rather crave for the feeling of assurity. Although, there are people who do a lot of 'crazy' (something different from the accepted social norms of a particular society) things, it is a general tendency of the majority to seek comfort. Just like the choice of food, we tend to seek comfort in our own ways and it is this aspect that often leads to conflict.

I am trying my best everyday not to draw conclusions over things as they appear. One can make opinions but must also have the temerity to change it as we proceed towards the path of reality. Time does reveal one's true character and understanding can only happen with time. I feel strongly about this.

The dark side of this strong feeling of mine is that, I have to ensure I do not blame others for anything that happens to me. It is so tempting and few times I still ended up doing and then feel a sense of disgust for having done that.

For an indiviual that is how it must be. What about a partnership? Yes, there is an obligation if one enters the partnership. Somewhere at some point of time the extremeties of the partners must be given away to a more amicable one. Thats what team ethics is all about and so far from what I have seen, relationships have flourished when it is made to work from time to time. Not just looking for excuses.

The other person(s) can have an affect on the partnership. There is no denying in that, then but what about ourselves. We have a choice to either play the game of blame, or just move on with life.

Some people are not given choices, I would say, such people seek comfort in not making choices and believe in things to happen by itself. It looks like a general statement, yes it is. More often than not, people do what is comfortable eventhough they endure pain. I have learnt, pain is a part of the process of believing in someone or something.

I love senorita, although there are situations that makes me to think whether it is a right choice? Everytime when the question of choice arises, I close my eyes and listen to my instincts. It has the same answer as it has been before. I trust my instincts and it is entirely my choice. Senorita is different in a lot different ways; but I am happy overall, because my instincts refuse to pose restrictions on senorita and yet makes me to love her, each time, everytime.

In a way, I trust my eyes more, when it is closed. That way, it gives me a chance to listen to my instincts. Instincts have an eye and they are awake all the time. So I trust those eyes more often than what my actual eyes see. It's a choice afterall.

Asked about Ferrari failing this year, Massa said - "We definitely need to analyse our mistakes and understand how they can be avoided, but I don't think it needs a revolution which the always emotional onlookers demand: it would be wrong because it's not a case of us suddenly becoming stupid. It's the playing field that has changed. We must be aware of that and tackle the situation with a different approach."

The Taste of Life - Cadbury's Diary milk

It's a dream to be in the land of chocolates enjoying every moment of the bite. Switzerland, quite rightly is famous for chocolates and they make some awesome ones.
I had a chance to visit the chocolate factory of Nestle twice last month in a space of three days; it was an amazing feeling. Something I just cannot express it through words.
Back when I was a child, just like most children, indulging in chocolates was also my favourite past time. The habit has stayed, and I can sense my childhood days are back, especially seeing my friends here, fighting out for chocolates. It is not about buying new chocolates, we get plenty of them, but one doesn't get a particular brand of chocolate in Swiss, that happens to be 'Cadbury's Diary Milk'.
Coming here, I realised the love I had for Cadburys while I was a child and then as I grew old, be it a quick snack, a gift for someone etc, I relished every moment of it.
Last week, at the UK airport, I could see Cadburys everywhere and for a pound it was a good deal. I bought a big pack (Just for one pound!!!!) and finished it just before I could board the plane. It was an awesome feeling, a sense of deja-vu, reminded me of the days, my grandpa and lot of other people bought me Diary Milk. It reminded me of the ad, the famous ad, featuring models Shimona and Arvin Tucker. The cricket setting was just a perfect theme and it still remains a top advertisement direted by an Indian (Abhinav Deo). Watching this video brought back my playing days of puerility and I just feel fortunate that I was able to remember those days........

Two Guys, a Girl and her Dilemma

A girl having met a guy, who stays in Middle East (X), starts a strange liking to the other guy (Y).
She comes after a gap of one month, with slight poking here and there but no serious conversations or warm greetings, its more out of surprise about how can someone like to converse irrespective of her being recluse.
Interesting, she wonders "I have never come across such a guy (Y), why is he so far from me?"
Blame it on fate or the test of time for this young woman who is discovering the difference between liking someone as a friend and loving someone special.
“I started my conversations with him out of curiosity after seeing his (Y) photograph, he looked good and I just asked him for a friend request. Well after couple of days, he did respond much to my surprise and it’s been three months, he has been surprising me with every conversation I am having with him. I know it was little late meeting him, but I am really not sure how to go about this. Should he just be my friend or someone else? I haven’t seen him, so can I take a risk with this."
She thought more "Like every girl, even I want my guy to be special, the problem here is, Am I too naïve to understand the meaning of ‘special’?
Are there any different feelings associated with the term ‘special’?
For the first time, it is happening and I really do not know whether this is a natural evolution as a woman or is this me liking someone unconditionally.”

Far across, all this guy (Y) does is, wonder what’s happening in his life. One thing is clear, it’s never been a smooth ride, and I guess he has accepted this side of life. Life is full of challenges and with it, he does know, Life and in turn every one will have problems, its just that how well individuals hide. He is excited about her, and he has been trying to make conversations with her. Luck has it; they are just unable to have conversations.
“I am being honest about where I stand even though I am unsure about the balance. I do like someone else before he came into my life. I did put it across to him (Y)regarding this. But he didn’t express his disappointment instead he was happy for me. Now, is it my madness to test people? I am confused. Should I rely on him just to be a friend? I am confident he will be a wonderful friend; will he be a wonderful lover? Lover, dream man, etc?
I am unsure with my own life and future. As a 20 year old, I do not know whom to trust. I keep hearing people being cruel and selfish for their own good. So should I take a chance, go to Middle east for a guy (X) whom I haven’t met yet.
So far, I was in the impression that he was my dream guy (X), until I bumped into this other person (Y). It was an accident, now I like him as well.
I want to do my business studies, so I work part time at a day care, earn some money to fund my studies and go to Dubai.
Well this was my dream… I was excited about it. Now I don’t know.
It’s been three weeks since I contacted him (Y); he is kind, sweet, keeps sending mails. Is he my special person?
I am confused again with two people in my life. I have never met, but just met through instincts of mine. All I can do is recognize their faces through few photos.
I don’t see them flirting with me, coz, its reached another level.
Oh man, I like him (Y) for the fact that he cares for me so much and remembers me.
Although, I do converse with my special one on a regular basis, but this guy I have hardly spoken and still he makes me feel so special. So I sent him an offliner.
“Hey… My dear friend… I want to talk to you badly….”
Everyday he would have slept, but due to unavoidable circumstances he got up early.
Early meant, time to chat with this girl.
He logged on anticipating her to be online after a long time.
His intuition was correct but all he managed was to read the offline messages.
The guy was 3 hours late reading the above message….

And then, things took a big turn in the guy's life that looked as though this girl was more of a distant dream he once considered chasing for.... Life goes on and he has managed to move on without ever wondering, what if???

P.S: This is complete from a draft of March 2008..... Thought will just share

Lazy Boy.... Are you out of focus???

You read about legendary stories, their focus, concentration, dedication and other words that fits here; I was wondering how would they feel when they do not feel like doing anything. Its easy to speak in hindsight and we can always make a good sense of it 'As time goes by', in real, how, is it to feel when one loses focus and just cannot concentrate?

Self doubts creep in at times when you start thinking about the future. We have to prepare for the future but at the same time like everyone have told in their own ways, we must learn to live in the present. Quite opposite when future seems so promising, motivation oozing through the veins with each day that passes by.

Perception is a thing and also how one adapts to that perception matters. I can say but I have to mean it and only when I walk through the channel that parallels my talks, it has some credibility. This aspect is what separates from achievers and wanna be achiever.

An achiever was a wanna be achiever some time back, so one must seek comfort in that, but the comfort zone really ends there, as one has to push certain limits imposed by us previously in order to give birth to the achiever in us.

When chips are down, we tend to lose faith in few things we believed in. Common sense often is the culprit, it makes us believe the dark side of our faith and with time it convinces, unless we fight it out..... The conflict inside us before its too late.

I am going through a phase where laziness is pre-dominant, lack of focus and uncertainity.... I hate this period.... but I have accepted this to be the present behaviour of mine. I want to change and it feels as though I have lost faith. Losing faith doesnt mean I am a pessimist, its the way I come out of this that matters. 'Without self-doubts' one has never succeeded. Its the way one clears the doubts and regain the focus that has made all the difference. One thing is getting clear.... what you focus the most, turns into reality... Until this week, I was out of focus as to where I want to be.....

This week, its a better picture so to say when compared to last week or the previous. I have had a chance to ponder over new opinions or one can say new impressions. In the end, I shut my mind and just allowed my instincts to speak. Just by reflecting on events that have occured in my life made me understand the meaning of faith.

"Faith is believing in something when commonsense tells you not to. Just because things did not turnout the way you want to the first time, you still got to believe in people or something you have hopes on." - The first line is from the Miracle on 34th street, Rest is my interpretation as to why the first line makes sense to me....

I am sure I will fight my way out of laziness and start believing (re-believe) in things that I havent been offlate.

Finally.... The Curse is off his back

Ten years back, same time, I hated the fact of watching Agassi win the French Open thereby becoming one of the very few to have won all four Grand Slams in a career. He surely became a legend considering the fact, he did win an Olympic Gold at the Atlanta Games in 1996. I was a class 10 student, and a pro Sampras fan, didnt like this fact. A degree of tranquility came when Sampras thrashed Agassi in straight sets to win yet another Wimbledon in 1999.

Sampras managed to win one more, before he lost to Roger Federer in the fourth round of 2001 Wimbledon Championships. That was the first and the only time, they both ever met in an ATP tour. I was in tears, at the same time couldnt hate Roger, because he was a good friend and a mixed doubles partner of Martina Hingis (who still is my favourite) when the pair won the Hopman's Cup in early 2001. I was wondering, Did I just see my new hero? Because, I heard a lot of praise of Roger from Sampras and this had an impact on me to like him as well.

Another Swiss halted Sampras in the form of George Bastl in 2002 before winning his last Grand Slam at Flushing Meadows. He retired, although the announcement came late, I knew, he wouldnt come back.

From then, its been all Roger, seeing him win the 2003 Wimbledon gave me so much satisfaction that, I felt, it was time the next King of Grass arrived. Defeats to Nadal at Roland Garros made me pinch myself, each time, so I did till this very year, when Roger won the elusive French Open he completed the career Grand Slam. He needs one more to be one clear of Pete Sampras who has 14 with no French Open. An all time legend - Does anyone doubt? Only cynics I suppose.

The curse of clay is gone, its off from Federer's back, well and truely grounded at Roland Garros today. Ten years, is such a long time and I am in tears, tears of joy. Never I had a chance to enjoy and rejoice someone winning French Open since the glory days of Sergei Brugera in 1993 and 1994.

On a personal front, there is nothing better than being in the home country of Roger's to witness this historic moment in tennis and an historic landmark in his life. And somewhere a sense of triumph for me as well.