Birth by Chance, Life by Choice

When I was born, I did not have the option of choosing my parents. The first lesson I learnt over a long time is to accept my birth was by chance, although it was a choice made by my parents. In a way, I am born through choice, not mine though.

Eversince that, apart from the initial growing years, chances started to diminish and choices started to appear more in the radar of my daily life and the routines associated with it. But in general, choices have mostly dependant on chances. Or should I say, choices appear whenver one gets a chance. I am sure, the other way it is not so clear. Pardon me, at this time of writing, I am looking just at the situations and the choices we make for them.

Staying in a non-English speaking country for the best part of this year has taught me a lot about how not to blame others for the situation I am in. So far, I have got lessons of life that, it is up to me to make a situation look better, if not worse. It is so true, when the situation involves very less people.

Infact, as a whole, by making a choice to change the situation itself is a step closer to reality. We become clear and understand ourselves as to why we are doing a particular thing. In one of the management classes, I came across a beautiful term called 'Self -fulfilling prophecy'. It is as a result of opininated mind, that refuses to believe otherwise, unless one becomes open minded and shed the curtains of narrow mindedness or generalisation.

The truth is, do we have the patience to know the truth? Truth itself is a time consuming process, often when you are confident of something it helps to deal with the frustrations of being in the 'waiting' period. By knowing people who are different and react differently, it has helped me a lot to understand the meaning of patience a touch better. And also, it is a chance to acknowledge the different ways of looking at a situation. I know, I do not personally agree or do what others do. And that is where the word 'choice' comes. I would rather embarass myself with the choices I made at a particular time than look for someone to blame. It is tough though.

Humans as we are, emotionally strive for security or rather crave for the feeling of assurity. Although, there are people who do a lot of 'crazy' (something different from the accepted social norms of a particular society) things, it is a general tendency of the majority to seek comfort. Just like the choice of food, we tend to seek comfort in our own ways and it is this aspect that often leads to conflict.

I am trying my best everyday not to draw conclusions over things as they appear. One can make opinions but must also have the temerity to change it as we proceed towards the path of reality. Time does reveal one's true character and understanding can only happen with time. I feel strongly about this.

The dark side of this strong feeling of mine is that, I have to ensure I do not blame others for anything that happens to me. It is so tempting and few times I still ended up doing and then feel a sense of disgust for having done that.

For an indiviual that is how it must be. What about a partnership? Yes, there is an obligation if one enters the partnership. Somewhere at some point of time the extremeties of the partners must be given away to a more amicable one. Thats what team ethics is all about and so far from what I have seen, relationships have flourished when it is made to work from time to time. Not just looking for excuses.

The other person(s) can have an affect on the partnership. There is no denying in that, then but what about ourselves. We have a choice to either play the game of blame, or just move on with life.

Some people are not given choices, I would say, such people seek comfort in not making choices and believe in things to happen by itself. It looks like a general statement, yes it is. More often than not, people do what is comfortable eventhough they endure pain. I have learnt, pain is a part of the process of believing in someone or something.

I love senorita, although there are situations that makes me to think whether it is a right choice? Everytime when the question of choice arises, I close my eyes and listen to my instincts. It has the same answer as it has been before. I trust my instincts and it is entirely my choice. Senorita is different in a lot different ways; but I am happy overall, because my instincts refuse to pose restrictions on senorita and yet makes me to love her, each time, everytime.

In a way, I trust my eyes more, when it is closed. That way, it gives me a chance to listen to my instincts. Instincts have an eye and they are awake all the time. So I trust those eyes more often than what my actual eyes see. It's a choice afterall.

Asked about Ferrari failing this year, Massa said - "We definitely need to analyse our mistakes and understand how they can be avoided, but I don't think it needs a revolution which the always emotional onlookers demand: it would be wrong because it's not a case of us suddenly becoming stupid. It's the playing field that has changed. We must be aware of that and tackle the situation with a different approach."

The Taste of Life - Cadbury's Diary milk

It's a dream to be in the land of chocolates enjoying every moment of the bite. Switzerland, quite rightly is famous for chocolates and they make some awesome ones.
I had a chance to visit the chocolate factory of Nestle twice last month in a space of three days; it was an amazing feeling. Something I just cannot express it through words.
Back when I was a child, just like most children, indulging in chocolates was also my favourite past time. The habit has stayed, and I can sense my childhood days are back, especially seeing my friends here, fighting out for chocolates. It is not about buying new chocolates, we get plenty of them, but one doesn't get a particular brand of chocolate in Swiss, that happens to be 'Cadbury's Diary Milk'.
Coming here, I realised the love I had for Cadburys while I was a child and then as I grew old, be it a quick snack, a gift for someone etc, I relished every moment of it.
Last week, at the UK airport, I could see Cadburys everywhere and for a pound it was a good deal. I bought a big pack (Just for one pound!!!!) and finished it just before I could board the plane. It was an awesome feeling, a sense of deja-vu, reminded me of the days, my grandpa and lot of other people bought me Diary Milk. It reminded me of the ad, the famous ad, featuring models Shimona and Arvin Tucker. The cricket setting was just a perfect theme and it still remains a top advertisement direted by an Indian (Abhinav Deo). Watching this video brought back my playing days of puerility and I just feel fortunate that I was able to remember those days........

Two Guys, a Girl and her Dilemma

A girl having met a guy, who stays in Middle East (X), starts a strange liking to the other guy (Y).
She comes after a gap of one month, with slight poking here and there but no serious conversations or warm greetings, its more out of surprise about how can someone like to converse irrespective of her being recluse.
Interesting, she wonders "I have never come across such a guy (Y), why is he so far from me?"
Blame it on fate or the test of time for this young woman who is discovering the difference between liking someone as a friend and loving someone special.
“I started my conversations with him out of curiosity after seeing his (Y) photograph, he looked good and I just asked him for a friend request. Well after couple of days, he did respond much to my surprise and it’s been three months, he has been surprising me with every conversation I am having with him. I know it was little late meeting him, but I am really not sure how to go about this. Should he just be my friend or someone else? I haven’t seen him, so can I take a risk with this."
She thought more "Like every girl, even I want my guy to be special, the problem here is, Am I too naïve to understand the meaning of ‘special’?
Are there any different feelings associated with the term ‘special’?
For the first time, it is happening and I really do not know whether this is a natural evolution as a woman or is this me liking someone unconditionally.”

Far across, all this guy (Y) does is, wonder what’s happening in his life. One thing is clear, it’s never been a smooth ride, and I guess he has accepted this side of life. Life is full of challenges and with it, he does know, Life and in turn every one will have problems, its just that how well individuals hide. He is excited about her, and he has been trying to make conversations with her. Luck has it; they are just unable to have conversations.
“I am being honest about where I stand even though I am unsure about the balance. I do like someone else before he came into my life. I did put it across to him (Y)regarding this. But he didn’t express his disappointment instead he was happy for me. Now, is it my madness to test people? I am confused. Should I rely on him just to be a friend? I am confident he will be a wonderful friend; will he be a wonderful lover? Lover, dream man, etc?
I am unsure with my own life and future. As a 20 year old, I do not know whom to trust. I keep hearing people being cruel and selfish for their own good. So should I take a chance, go to Middle east for a guy (X) whom I haven’t met yet.
So far, I was in the impression that he was my dream guy (X), until I bumped into this other person (Y). It was an accident, now I like him as well.
I want to do my business studies, so I work part time at a day care, earn some money to fund my studies and go to Dubai.
Well this was my dream… I was excited about it. Now I don’t know.
It’s been three weeks since I contacted him (Y); he is kind, sweet, keeps sending mails. Is he my special person?
I am confused again with two people in my life. I have never met, but just met through instincts of mine. All I can do is recognize their faces through few photos.
I don’t see them flirting with me, coz, its reached another level.
Oh man, I like him (Y) for the fact that he cares for me so much and remembers me.
Although, I do converse with my special one on a regular basis, but this guy I have hardly spoken and still he makes me feel so special. So I sent him an offliner.
“Hey… My dear friend… I want to talk to you badly….”
Everyday he would have slept, but due to unavoidable circumstances he got up early.
Early meant, time to chat with this girl.
He logged on anticipating her to be online after a long time.
His intuition was correct but all he managed was to read the offline messages.
The guy was 3 hours late reading the above message….

And then, things took a big turn in the guy's life that looked as though this girl was more of a distant dream he once considered chasing for.... Life goes on and he has managed to move on without ever wondering, what if???

P.S: This is complete from a draft of March 2008..... Thought will just share

Lazy Boy.... Are you out of focus???

You read about legendary stories, their focus, concentration, dedication and other words that fits here; I was wondering how would they feel when they do not feel like doing anything. Its easy to speak in hindsight and we can always make a good sense of it 'As time goes by', in real, how, is it to feel when one loses focus and just cannot concentrate?

Self doubts creep in at times when you start thinking about the future. We have to prepare for the future but at the same time like everyone have told in their own ways, we must learn to live in the present. Quite opposite when future seems so promising, motivation oozing through the veins with each day that passes by.

Perception is a thing and also how one adapts to that perception matters. I can say but I have to mean it and only when I walk through the channel that parallels my talks, it has some credibility. This aspect is what separates from achievers and wanna be achiever.

An achiever was a wanna be achiever some time back, so one must seek comfort in that, but the comfort zone really ends there, as one has to push certain limits imposed by us previously in order to give birth to the achiever in us.

When chips are down, we tend to lose faith in few things we believed in. Common sense often is the culprit, it makes us believe the dark side of our faith and with time it convinces, unless we fight it out..... The conflict inside us before its too late.

I am going through a phase where laziness is pre-dominant, lack of focus and uncertainity.... I hate this period.... but I have accepted this to be the present behaviour of mine. I want to change and it feels as though I have lost faith. Losing faith doesnt mean I am a pessimist, its the way I come out of this that matters. 'Without self-doubts' one has never succeeded. Its the way one clears the doubts and regain the focus that has made all the difference. One thing is getting clear.... what you focus the most, turns into reality... Until this week, I was out of focus as to where I want to be.....

This week, its a better picture so to say when compared to last week or the previous. I have had a chance to ponder over new opinions or one can say new impressions. In the end, I shut my mind and just allowed my instincts to speak. Just by reflecting on events that have occured in my life made me understand the meaning of faith.

"Faith is believing in something when commonsense tells you not to. Just because things did not turnout the way you want to the first time, you still got to believe in people or something you have hopes on." - The first line is from the Miracle on 34th street, Rest is my interpretation as to why the first line makes sense to me....

I am sure I will fight my way out of laziness and start believing (re-believe) in things that I havent been offlate.

Finally.... The Curse is off his back

Ten years back, same time, I hated the fact of watching Agassi win the French Open thereby becoming one of the very few to have won all four Grand Slams in a career. He surely became a legend considering the fact, he did win an Olympic Gold at the Atlanta Games in 1996. I was a class 10 student, and a pro Sampras fan, didnt like this fact. A degree of tranquility came when Sampras thrashed Agassi in straight sets to win yet another Wimbledon in 1999.

Sampras managed to win one more, before he lost to Roger Federer in the fourth round of 2001 Wimbledon Championships. That was the first and the only time, they both ever met in an ATP tour. I was in tears, at the same time couldnt hate Roger, because he was a good friend and a mixed doubles partner of Martina Hingis (who still is my favourite) when the pair won the Hopman's Cup in early 2001. I was wondering, Did I just see my new hero? Because, I heard a lot of praise of Roger from Sampras and this had an impact on me to like him as well.

Another Swiss halted Sampras in the form of George Bastl in 2002 before winning his last Grand Slam at Flushing Meadows. He retired, although the announcement came late, I knew, he wouldnt come back.

From then, its been all Roger, seeing him win the 2003 Wimbledon gave me so much satisfaction that, I felt, it was time the next King of Grass arrived. Defeats to Nadal at Roland Garros made me pinch myself, each time, so I did till this very year, when Roger won the elusive French Open he completed the career Grand Slam. He needs one more to be one clear of Pete Sampras who has 14 with no French Open. An all time legend - Does anyone doubt? Only cynics I suppose.

The curse of clay is gone, its off from Federer's back, well and truely grounded at Roland Garros today. Ten years, is such a long time and I am in tears, tears of joy. Never I had a chance to enjoy and rejoice someone winning French Open since the glory days of Sergei Brugera in 1993 and 1994.

On a personal front, there is nothing better than being in the home country of Roger's to witness this historic moment in tennis and an historic landmark in his life. And somewhere a sense of triumph for me as well.

Getting Rid of the Past - Do we have to all the time?

I thank for having a decent memory, most times I ensure its put into good use. There are times, when I am all by myself, few scars feel unhealed, although time has gone by, it seems as though they are untouched.
An element called stubborness in me refuses to accept that things have changed; I dont want to be judgemental whether it is good or worse. I am a believer that everything happens for the good, only when no options are left and we resign to what some call 'fate' and few others call 'destiny'.
There were times when things were different, but life is such a puzzle that, we think only our perspective to be the sole solution as to why it changed. Actually, most reactions of ours are as a result of this belief.
It disturbs me, that things didnt pan out the same way it used to. Thats called evolution, maturity, growing up, moving on etc etc
Life as a television with remote control operated by few friends can be quite an experience. It tries its best, to entertain as per the channel desired. With time, there seems to be a trend with few to change the television, because its antiquated and its time for something new.
But, there can also be that, Life has become so busy that, there is no time to watch the television. So, what seemed to be favourite programs in the past, doesnt find a place today. Reality bites, doesnt it.
Its fortunate at times, they get the updates and few might even interest them.
I guess, its time I accept that, things have changed and looking back, it was a good time except for the disconnection, not once but twice.
On a brighter note, there have been new connections, but like I said, one has to pay the price for having a decent memory. Its just that, those memories have to be conditioned and aligned in such a way that, when I look back, I will get a reminder that, afterall I didnt have a bad deal and will know as time goes by as to what caused the disconnection.
Till then, its ok, its good to reflect on what happened. Now I realise and thank the two whom I was constantly in touch and have not lost any respect whatsoever. At times, you do get devilled, but I promise, I never made any conclusions and the book is still open.

"Be the change you want to see in the world"

It all started in 2005, when I was in my final year of Engineering, I got introduced to this character. It was Viren, a friend from college who suggested me to watch the first episode and ever since I have never looked back.

Calm, collective, focussed, determined, fighting for a cause, commitment are just some of the words that comes to my mind. After watching the last episode, I realised, this character was one big influence on me.This series kept me going many times during the last three and half years. It all took four seasons, and thats it, it got its ending.


It all started in a grand fashion, the idea of the series was something out of the box. I was a fan right from the time the series started. The show was popular, wasnt comic, it represented the other side of comedy. The word isnt tragedy, its called 'Life' from another perspective.

Its a thing with me to get attached to the characters, who inspire me, give me hope because they give me a window to have a different perspective of life. This character was no exception.




When I saw this episode, I knew, it was all going to end. So did his character. And, in due respect, I appreciate the director, to have made such an ending, the last five minutes is marvellous.




So what did I learn, many things at different times in my life, it was like a drive, which made me re-discover my buried hopes.
One line I always remember is this - 'Be the Change you want to see in the world'. That just sums it up for me as to why this character will always be an inspiration for me. RIP - Michael Schofield, it was great knowing you.
Here it ends the journey of the series 'Prison Break'.