"Out of my Instinct Zone"

Few things in life must not be changed, yes I indeed agree with it, unless the replacements are worth for a change.

An instinct each one possesses is a unique strength that demarcates individuals, their decision-making abilities and choice making.

To me personally, I have always trusted my instincts to take control over most situations. It’s not a maxim that I have set; in my brain. It’s a routine or one can say a mundane activity that controls most (99%) of the decisions wherein I do not have to think so much. It’s more in-built.

While on work or doing something different, requires fair amount of new ideas, Can I rely upon my instincts? Well, this question was asked and I did find a solution that seems apt so far.

When one makes decisions we back our experience, expertise and other’s experience. We look into prevailing situations and then end up taking a decision. Before executing, sometimes, I have encountered two possibilities.

One that is defined by logic; wherein one can come to some conclusion with the events that have taken place. This seems to be the best possible solution because it can be backed by certain data or events that have occurred previously. It doesn’t leave much scope for ifs, but’s and eliminates most of the uncertainties.

On the other hand, I have this personality called ‘Mr. Instinct’ who has this sense for the changes that are likely to happen in the future. The logic is very ill logical in this case and it simply doesn’t have a set pattern to explain the unfolding of the events.

Most of my struggles in life were to convince my mind, which takes sound decisions based on facts. Where as instincts, which creates its own route map, tries to convince me to take a decision based on his ill defined logic. But it works trust me.

Dare I say, very rarely I have gone against my instincts. I am indeed fortunate to have a mind and an instinct and their theories to agree to disagree. They agree on most terms and other times, one eventually compromises saying I had made a wrong decision and ends up supporting the other decision.

For the first time, in my life, I have taken a decision that is in direct conflict with my instincts. Now, instincts aren’t behaving the same way. It is indicating the past events and the present situations to keep me reminded about my decision.

If I am unsure, I let time do the talking. I wanted time for making an important decision in my life. I know it could have been a straightforward decision for the state of mind I was.

Finally after weeks on self – assessment, I came to conclusion. I am not backing my instincts.

I am backing my beliefs and my theory towards life. These are logical.

Wait a minute – “you just can’t take decisions without convincing me, hey look, I understand I have difference in views but convince me first and then go ahead with your decision” – Instinct in a repulsive mood.

This made me think a bit more…. C’mon after all someone’s asking me something and I should give. If instinct is asking me to think over again, then I must.

After few days, Fine, Mr. Instinct, I am again going against you. I know it hurts or say it will hurt me in the future for having gone against you or for having expressed my inability to convince you, but I am sure you will be there to support me in other things apart from this. This will be a nice change for both of us.

What made me go against my instincts??

I always believed, in order to attain a greater sense of achievement in life, its not what you conquer, its not what you did, its how you did.

I have few beliefs, which I have acquired as a result of living this life, watching, traveling, reading and by having conversations.

“One must always give another chance, I know it might not work out, but I am not going to lose anything because the equilibrium of karma puts it this way, when you are gaining something, you are bound to lose. Unless we do not experience we cannot say what we gained or lost, we can just have an idea, although one cannot fathom it.” – First reason


“I always told my friends if you want something in life, go ask for it. You will at least get clarity in terms of response you get. So, if you want something from someone, go ask for it. At times, life is too short to play mind and understanding games, one need to express to get what they want.” – Second Reason

Now, someone close (is it?? Asked instinct) to you comes all of a sudden and asks for something… What do you do???

This time I didn’t rely upon my instincts for memories I had. Instead I have taken this as a challenge to convince my instincts that let time heal this… I know time alone cannot heal; it’s my ability to ward off negative energies from my instincts and also the concerned person and situations. If all are in same plane or at least align in one particular direction, then future seems bright or else, I need to answer this question from a book I read….

On the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, which is considered to be highest peak in Africa, there is a carcass of a jackal on the dry snow layers at the peak. Now the question is, why would a jackal go to such an area in the first place, what made it to go such a distance?
Did it know it wouldn’t be getting any food or shelter over there? Why did it go??


I know the answer as to why it went there. Sometimes, we do sense the scent wrong. It seems foolishness for a jackal to go that far. But it just followed the scent and in the end it turned out to be the wrong scent. It followed its instincts and it failed…. Or I would like to put it this way; this so called ‘failure’ became a great example for my life.

I know Ernst Hemingway mentioned the puzzle…. But the solution to it is entirely mine or should I say interpretation based on my experience. The difference between a man and an animal is that man is capable of establishing priorities.

I might change this in the future… because I really don’t know whether I would also end up following the wrong scent of life… I really haven’t followed jackal’s life to come to a proper conclusion.
At present I can say…. I have challenged my norms and for at least one issue I am out of my instinct zone…. It’s a battle nevertheless to prove my decision right to my instincts.

Ultimately, this isn’t any wish. Being with a person I like is a goal…. a long term. This isn’t like any other unformed wish like “I want to make money, I want to win or I want to find true love”. These wishes aren’t goals as per my definition. I want to enjoy the intermediate steps associated with the goals. Analyze them, correct whenever necessary and keep moving on.

At last, this is the hardest part….. Having gone out of my instincts, I have to ensure I retain the confidence and be able to stick to whatever I have decided upon.

Edison remarked “Success is defined as 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration”.

Well, I am all ready for 99% perspiration…. Unless and until I get 1 % inspiration from time to time….

From who?

It’s a million dollar question…..

The bitter taste of Orange...

The fascination of Orange… not the fruit just the pulp…was something I always cherish till date.

It wasn’t just the color or the pulp. But the soccer team of Netherlands, that caught my attention during the 1998 World Cup. Ok, I was still a Brazil fan, I still am to an extent, but none can argue my passion for the Orangee team. My friends know that…

Barring the 1988 Euro Championships, Dutch have never been able to win any major title. Too bad for a country that is second to none in the talent they have. I dare, say, even Brazil can be taken off if Dutch play to their potential.

They say if talent were alone a consideration, then you would have many successful people in this world. Test of nerves and how a team copes with adversity and the bounce back ability makes other successful teams go one touch ahead than Dutch.

Ok, there are teams like Italy (I love their defense), Argentina, Nigeria in their hey days, it’s too many teams. But for me, it’s been four teams that always catch my attention.

Dutch, Germany, Brazil and Italy – They are my pick.

Marco Van Basten would have loved to add his player’s medal, which he won in 1988 after scoring one of the best goals ever in the history.

One would like to know what’s wrong with Dutch soccer team. The legacy of Rinus Michel with his total football concept (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_Football)and the genius of Johann Cryuff in the 70’s make me wonder, why they can’t jump the final hurdle to perfection. They lost in the finals of 1974 and 1978 World Cup finals. The precision of ‘Clockwork Orange’ as they were more famously known wasn’t in sync for the big games.

I would love in the future to make a case study of Dutch football… Right now, I am on Italian football history or should I term it ‘Calcio’.

Well, my disappointments make me not to script an emotional script because; I do not want to criticize Dutch for the football they play. With time, I have come to terms with their mood swings with a swing of flair and brilliance to the sheer clueless, cornered football they play.

My status message was ‘Go Orangee’ for the past one week. And they just went away. If one looks at the history, you can sense why the coach Van basten didn’t react to their loss to Russia. People, who have followed Dutch football, claim it isn’t a shock, because they can lose anytime. Also, I did get to know, people in Holland just went about their life after witnessing this loss. They have just got used to this. Hats off to them for being stoic in general and just look at the positive aspects of Dutch football.

I didn’t watch the match; I was traveling from Chennai to Bangalore. First thing I did was to check the score. Well, I don’t know…. Forget it… sometimes its better not to think…

But I end up thinking …. And rest all I say is my fascination for Dutch…. I mean for the soccer team.

Remember these titans: My pick for all time favourite Dutch team

Ronald de Boer, Frank De Boer, Jaap Staam, Edwin Van der Saar, Giovanni Bronckhurst, Marc Overmars, Rudd Van Nistelrooy, Arjen Robben, Patrick Kluivert, Clarence Seedorf, Michael reiziger, Danny Blind, Edgar Davids, Marco Van Basten, Johnny Heitiga, Ronald Koeman, Andy Van Der Myde, Frank Rijkaard, Rudd Guilt, Wesley Sneijder, Johann Cryuff, Philip Cocu and last but not the least my all time favourite Dennis Bergkemp.

Love Story - Or should i say "My Story"

Is it fair to love someone and just be happy with it?
Is it fair to love someone when you get to know the concerned person is in love with another person?
Is it fair to love someone when you are not sure the other person loves the concerned person as much as you do?

To be honest, I am not sure why I am asking these questions when I already feel that I am in love. Maybe, these questions are to see how people react when I say more about the person I am in love with.

Even if I get the answers to my above questions I don’t think I will be disturbed and at the same time I must shed my egoistic jacket when I am convinced that the other person loves the concerned more than me. I know there are two involved for the same girl. It’s really interesting.

Considering it was the same way both the guys met the concerned girl, one must give both parties a fair run.

Ok, in this case, I am late, I don’t know by how many days but I am not the first guy.
Will I be the victim of first cum first service?
Or, will justice prevail to show that you need to weigh your options before zeroing it on one?

The universal answer, “Time shall heal”. What a brilliant solution…… Unfortunately, I am way behind in terms of tolerance but at least I am improving to understand the beauty of this universal solution.

People talk about confidence and I can say my confident quotient was high when I was in love. Person irrelevant, but I always feel, loving someone increased my confidence levels and in turn my appetite. It still continues to do. I think it is same for everyone.

I have heard things like ‘Rising in love’ and ‘falling in love’. To be honest I still cannot fathom these two statements but for the fact– Rising in love is more optimistic and a fundoo statement to make than falling in love.

Does falling in love sound negative? If falling is negative when compared with rising, is falling in love a negative thing.

I was wondering, people including myself have spoken about rising to new heights, but I haven’t seen anyone talk about falling to new depths.

I have and I feel there isn’t any negativity about it. In fact, falling to new depths have made me dig deeper to make myself aware of my foundation and it has made me much stronger and now I know certain other ways to bolster my foundation.

I don’t know if I would have tasted the success by reaching the top, would my airy ego allow or say settle down on earth for a moment? It’s something I can comment only when I have climbed the ladder of my definition of success.

Loving someone isn’t a crime even when I am not getting the same love from the other.
However there are few things that needs to be under ethical check and as long as I do not cross those boundaries, I don’t see any harm in loving someone.

According to me, loving someone doesn’t mean she belongs entirely to me or she is my property. To me, loving someone is all about a feeling, a feeling inside which reminds me about my ability to love someone and not hate them. It’s about seeing the one I love being happy irrespective of how she chooses to be happy. Of course, it’s the internal happiness not the plastic happiness.

Well, people might term “one way love” being useless. True, to a certain extent depending on one’s intention and definition of what love is. In a way, ego controls most of our decisions and so do our interpretations of love.

I love her; people may call it infatuation, since it isn’t the usual mundane love story. When I do tell about my love, mostly I will be sounding like an idiot according to general public. All I say, I might sound like an idiot, but even I know what love is.

I am writing so that, I want to respect the new girl of my life. I know, chances are slim about us being together, but I won’t be disappointed either. It hurts but isn’t this the other side of joy?

I wont be taking it in a bad way if things doesn’t go as I like because I didn’t know when I fell in love and my mistake is, I didn’t ask her “Can I love you ………?”

One thing is sure, whether she will be a part of me or not, I still won’t have ill feelings about having met her and to have gone through not so pleasant moments. I like the honesty in which she put forth her status quo and that to me was something which normal human wouldn’t dare. In a way, I found a person who prefers to take things head on. She is beautiful, but it was the honesty which captured me towards her.

If I look back, I have moved on. All I can say, I couldn’t have imagined myself being in a position where in I would be able to love a girl again, at least so early after having learnt few lessons from the previous. I know love happens and for me it has happened.

The fizz might reduce after some reality check but nothing can stop me from loving her at least as a friend. Like an angel she came, reignited the lost passion in me. To my dear, I will always remember you for the role of a catalyst you played in my life. No one except me can acknowledge this. It might be crazy that I am gonna remember you always but I also know it’s completely humane to remember someone, if not one’s past.

This is me, coming out completely from an incomplete love story or should I say ‘like story’ because the girl before her was confused whether she loved me or liked me.
People eventually realize what’s best for them and move on or at least they try to move on irrespective of whether they really like to move on.

This is my story and I am only happy and thrilled to have rediscovered the touch of loving someone……………

Memoirs of my departed crush!!!

Two events last night made me to remember her…

One of them has to be my friend Archie’s blog on singers and the other one was the video I happened to see on MTV …

It brought back the memories of 1995. Till then I always listened to songs but never really had a favorite voice that I used to listen often.
Mom had many favourite singers, but for me I was just about listening to songs that pleased my ears.
I remember in 95, Anupama Verma did a video for Biddu. The song and video somehow became my favourite. I got the CD few years later as a gift for buying an audio player. Guess, I got loads of collections of pop Indian music and this album was placed right after Alisha’s “Made in India” in the gift wrap.
I wasn’t aware it was the remix version for 3 years running since 1995. I was in love with the song more than the video. I know Anupama Verma was hot that time (she looked great in last year’s Big Boss as well), but it was the voice that kept me interested. My usual funda after watching Alisha, Anaida, and other female pop singers was, Anupama Verma to have sung this song.

Till I got hold of the CD and to my surprise, it wasn’t Anupama Verma who turned out to be the singer. I didn’t know much about this singer.
I asked my brother about her, he mentioned couple of movie references… most notably Qurbani made in 1980’s starring Feroz Khan, Vinod Khanna and Zeenat Aman. Hmmm, I loved those songs and when I listened to the Qurbani album all over again, I could connect the voice.

I am talking about the Pakistani Sensation, Nazia Hasan.
Well to be honest, I never wanted to know about her life except that I was fida over her voice and especially ‘Boom Boom’ song.

I didn’t have Internet that time and even when I had an opportunity in late 90’s, searching about Nazia Hasan was not the priority considering the amount of money I was spending on Internet café.

In 2000, I had got a collector’s edition copy of Film fare that listed all the previous winners starting from 1950’s when the award was instituted.

In the archives, Nazia Hasan – 1980- Best Playback Singer, and later that day I got to know she was born in 1965. I was like wondering the whole day, she was as old as me, when she picked up the award.

Later, I saw the picture of hers, and; I was so attracted to her…. I said to myself “Man, I am sure, she is not going to go out of my memories.” She will be there, I was a big fan of her voice but now I was a big fan of her in total. You can call it crush if one wants for my fascination towards Nazia.

These are the few pics; that will last forever within me

All I had listened, was remix songs of hers barring few originals.

In 2000, came a song – sometime in May during my holidays…. I remember the song that goes this way “Aankhen Milane wala…”. I knew it was Nazia Hasan’s voice.

Sadly, few months later, I got to know she passed away. That was one of the days, wherein we had our colleges shut because of Rajkumar’s kidnapping episode and when I heard this news for the first time, I was totally shocked and I expressed my dissatisfaction to my brother, who was equally hit by this news.

She continued to live on….memories of many like me.

Sometime, in 2003, when MTV was showcasing a special program on retro music I happened to see a video of Rati Agnihothri (audio was muted because of phone conversation I was having). I just ended the phone call and what I hear, Yes, the familiar words… Boom Boom….
I was like, OMG, is this the original song? All I got was last 40-50 seconds of that song. Of course the saving grace was the movie title that appeared in the end. The movie name was” Star”.

I happened to see the video later that week. Maybe, I was destined to see because; I was so desperate to see the original video.
As soon as I got the taste of the original, out went Anupama Verma’s remix song. From that day, till date, I love the original and continue to so.

Thanks to You Tube, I can have this song – Infact, I have tried many video shops for this movie… I wasn’t lucky. Considering the money I spend on buying movie DVDs, I must admit, this, as a big failure on my part.

Today early morning after a goof up with respect to surprising one of my friends on his birthday, in turn he surprised us and that made me sit at home rather than barging our way to his house early in the morning. I was bit sad that I couldn’t wish him in personal (which I have done over past many years). Anyways, just had a laugh for what happened.

After a while, from no where, I was thinking about Nazia, and wondered, “I haven’t seen many people of my age appreciate Nazia’s talent.”
While the song ‘Boom Boom’ is playing on my player, I am giving the final touches to this, on one of the most fascinating women I have known, never mind if it wasn’t in person. Afterall she was just 35.... when she said.... Alvida....

For more info - www.naziahassan.co.uk

A serious gab while we were in the cab

On my way back home, I was asked few questions with respect to relationship and how one needs to be, in order it to be a success.
To be fair, I did not quite sail on similar lines but there was an interesting angle which she was pointing out.

While walking back, after this conversation, I did ponder over few things…….
I know there isn’t any formula (universal) for things to work.

Professionally, we have raised standards to such an extent that nowadays, professional life is making its way into our personal lives.

Professional Standards have increased, because of competition; I am not sure about personal standards even though there is no dearth of competition.

Change is essential but I am emphasizing the world evolution here. Are we evolving better emotionally from our previous generations.
This question is quite a tricky one, to prove this theory, we have to solve problems or handle problems of the past in a better way and I am sure we would all be solving it quite easily. So we have evolved to cope better.

But, what about adversity, problems, crisis etc

While puzzles are created by men, the solutions are also provided by us. In that sense, even our problems would have evolved.

We can never overtake a problem, coz once we overtake it, it ceases to exist.

We follow a problem or be par with it. So it’s relatively constant between the degree of problems and its solutions. Problems might sneak a little ahead.

In any case, those were just my thoughts….. Before having dinner

Back to the scene @ Cab

She asked:

“You knew this girl well, so your life would have been great, staying with someone whom you know well?”

I didn’t completely agree with her assessment.

Yes, it’s a comfort zone to know a person, but it isn’t always the case that one’s life will be great just because we end up marrying the girl we know. It can be made great mutually by exploring many facets of life and with exchange of information.
I believe the whole life isn’t enough to understand a person or infact to understand ourselves, so one cannot conclude this will be the way to go about in life.

She shot back another salvo at me:

“Ok, at this moment you are busy with work, surrounded by friends, meeting new people. At the end of the day, don’t you feel lonely and miss this person with whom you can share your personal space.”

Fair point, yes, I did miss at times, and I am being honest here. But one cannot continue like this. I have chosen to go ahead and accept things as they come rather than crib about the whole incident. One has to live with reality and accept them gracefully. In a way, the special person might come in the future and it’s not like we are never gonna get a partner.

She was in a mood to ask me more:

“When the new person comes, comparisons come in and one constantly keeps comparing the new one with the old one. Isn’t it tough and one will surely regret if the new one doesn’t match up. And can she fill the void?”

I don’t agree. Because looking at my life, I feel I have thrived when I was out of my comfort zone. Never felt my life was a walk in the park for a long time. I had challenges and had to fight many internal battles to concord with my principles of life. Yes temptation is there to go back to the departed soul, but when one’s instinct doesn’t want it, it doesn’t matter if the other person wants it or not. Also, I hate being regretful and mostly I avoid such situations by giving my best shot and giving others ample time to take decision. This is not fixed and it depends person to person. Unless its extreme situations, I might re-consider because I hate adamancy in such issues. In any case, I am not missing her…. One has to move on… I can’t stop here… Can I?

Well, she wasn’t gonna stop this conversation:

“Can she (new one) fill the void…?”

I feel one cannot fill the void created by a fellow human being. It’s the name that can be filled not the role. I feel my mom can act as a mother to certain people who are misfortunate to have lost their mothers. But my mom can never replace them. Similarly, each one is unique and each one has a different role to play. Smart people appreciate the presence of different people in their lives and acknowledge them for their unique brilliance rather than drawing them into a circle of their own thoughts.
I am sorry, I can pretend or all can pretend but no one can replace. If at all, replacement can happen, then, is there any value for the previous one?
Is there any value or respect for mother or god, if mothers and Gods could be replaced?
Is there any value if your best sets of people are easily replaced?
Mother is not born, she is created. A woman becomes a mother only when child is born. I know motherly feelings will be there and one need not give birth to a child to become a mother. But I hope you do understand what I am emphasizing.

In life, like mother, each one has different roles…… And I feel it is disrespect to a concerned person if she is being replaced emotionally by the other one. Instead of looking for similarity, why don’t we look at the uniqueness as long as it’s keeping us and the concerned person happy?

I look at it this way, and I continued…….

Now, I believe the whole professional set up has lot to play with our emotional values.
I was on leave for a week; a certain work was supposed to carry out, but didn’t happen due to my absence. My boss wasn’t unhappy, but felt, there needs to be a system, wherein we aren’t dependent on any individual while he is absent. Every work must happen irrespective of the concerned person is present or not.

Fair enough, after all its business and its good for one’s ego to know, I am important.
But professionally, I agree, dependency will ruin the progress and stall the growth of a company. Hence a company must never depend on individuals and rather depend on a system.

Unfortunately, like humans aren’t perfect, Will the human created systems be perfect?

I continued,

Will it stall our growth personally when we depend on someone? Can there be a system wherein you can replace the people one is missing?

She was waiting for me to give the answer for this question.

… I feel facing the harsh realities of missing someone and how one overcomes it, is the definition of life. At least, I love it that way and I have learnt to live better that way. Life isn’t always living with people whom we know; it is also a platform in which we are fortunate to know the people unfamiliar to us. This gives me a chance to acknowledge many people whom I have known and their different methods of leading their life.

It is this journey that one needs to enjoy and keep going forward. It is this story of one’s journey which can awake the somniferous people and de-motivate others.

After all, it is a matter of choice. Although, we weren’t given a choice of our birth location, status, colour, race etc. But we are given choices to undo things or do things that one wants.

“Hey, I would love to continue this topic with you….. “- Her stop had come

She got down….

Few minutes later, I got down….

As I reached home, I did realize two things. Life is full of tautologies and contradictions.

And please, I stressed to myself; do not mix one’s professional life with one’s personal life. The standards and expectations are quite different.

Remember Street Hawk??

Back in 2006, Anu and myself had the privilege of hosting a quiz to select the best team in college. Its called ‘Funda-mental’.

Any fact, which was appreciated, would just be acknowledged as ‘fundae’ with a generous clap. Being a part of RV QuizCorp and its rich tradition, was just one of my dreams. It did come true.

Ask any quizzer when he sets the questions, all he wants is his questions to be appreciated, never mind it being cracked by the junta. And he must be able to keep the audience involved.

My favourite topic was Sports, Entertainment (remove some rock music) and India. I didnt mind myself being binged with facts that came my way. There was alacrity to know more in the avenues, which I was good at. Along the way, this also became a great way to burgeon my quest for knowing more facts across the world.

When I was conducting a quiz, all I wanted in return was a clap from the junta and appreciate the questions or so called ‘fundas’. This was the ultimate reward not just for me but also for all my fellow quizzers.

To come back to the history of QuizCorp, I just don’t have much to say. Lots of legends have come and conquered in RV College and all across India with sheer ruthlessness and at the same time made quizzing look more interesting and more enjoyable. (http://www.rvquizcorp.com/)

In 2004, I participated in my first fundamental. Myself, Viren and Keith after a 16 round marathon quizzing finished second overall. (It was a surprise; big occasions always brought the best in me). It was indeed a big thing as there were many good quizzers around us. At times, I always felt, it was in me to step up or step down in company with my teammates. To be frank, I was never good at solo quizzing except for sports.

Team spirit brings the best in me in terms of cracking the fundas.

The tradition was: The winner’s of fundamental get to host the next edition. Sadly, for 2 years after 2004 it never happened.

So I thought, maybe I will start this thing again. Anu was more than happy for this. To me, he is the best quizzer I have seen. I have seen a lot of seniors who come close to him or probably are ahead of him in some respects, but in what I have seen, never I have witnessed the sheer ruthlessness he exhibits when it comes to solo quizzing and any quiz for that matter. (He used to crib about Sports and India at times but most times he got it right whenever required)

Coming back to the pivotal point - Since kid, bikes fascinated me and I was cloyed with bike shows that came on TV. One happens to be Street Hawk starring Rex Smith.

It started in 1985, but my memory clearly points to late 1992 till 1993 when I was watching this show on Doordarshan. It was on Saturdays @ 930 pm, no matter what, I never missed this show.

Sadly this show ran for 13 episodes only. One of the reasons can be pointed to David Hasselholf’s convoluted machine called ‘Knight Rider’, the one that could talk.

To be frank, that show never appealed me and for me Street Hawk is way above Knight Rider.

While setting any quiz, I make sure I dedicate my favourite people, team or anything in some way or the other. I wanted a question on Street Hawk for this edition of fundamental. I had the photos of the designs of the bike, but I knew deep down this would be ‘arbit’ (too vague to crack).

One of the highlights of Street Hawk was its intro, which always stayed in mind. There it was, one I wanted to put it.

I played this to Anu; he was like Man, where did you get this…

There you go, I knew this question would be a hit. More importantly, I wanted to bring back the lost memories of this great show among the junta.

Very few cracked, but all appreciated this question.

Appropriately, this Quiz was titled 'Dedications' - Dedication to all the Quiz Corpers

That day (12th Sep, 2006), Anu started downloading this show from Bit Lord. Its 7 and half GB. He tried for a year until his comp gave up last month when he had to change his entire system.

I know, he wanted to present the entire show as my birthday gift; at least that’s what he claims. Never mind, I am going to buy this DVD and this will be placed in my collectibles.

Just to end, check out the video and of course the theme for this, which still continues to be my track when I want to get ready for bigger and greater challenges ahead.

The theme is by Tangerine Dream.

Survivor

It was not the same day compared with others recently, as I reflected upon few things. Death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship, which struggles on in the survivor’s mind towards some resolution, which it may never find… I read these lines in a book…

Things have changed to an extent that Karma has started inspiring certain people. I am a great believer of the fact that, one has its own destiny and Karma is truly what I believe in.

Situations encountered over past few months where in I am not allowing the so-called other’s to enter and at times when ever opportunity presents, I panicked and I fled. Because in almost liking someone else I felt disloyal to the only one so far I ever loved.

But with time, I did realize, how much longer could I live this way, forever on my guard lest human feelings catch me unaware?

Freud-himself- once said that for the little things in life we should, of course, react according to our reason.

But for really big decisions, we should heed what our unconscious tells us.
Well not every time.

With time, I have tried many things so far, just to confront as to who I am.

I was wondering, what life would have been if certain things didn’t change? All I say, even I would have been alive.

At times, I am agog with the way things are in life. Also, I feel lonely at times, but there is something that keeps me going.

Maybe it is some sort of inspiration from few friends. And how they overcame the asperity thrown to them. Or it might be lyrics of my favourite songs and or certain pod casts that I have kept for myself when I get bugged. Books help a lot, movies too and trust me talking to people also does. There are many sources for inspiration.

But I like to challenge myself to overcome on my own fighting it out within.
At times, its ambulatory, eventually things do pick up very quickly.

In Pursuit of self-found happiness, I ensure I am not bedizened with false optimism.

Early Morning, or late in the night, I was always fascinated with the thought of everyone being a survivor in this world. Somehow, people survive. Whether we like it or hate it, they just survive.

With some maxims (not the one’s I collect) people tend to move irrespective of the direction.

I might be young, callow in most things, but I am getting an opportunity in life to cross off many things.

Past one year, life has made me to float with confidence and it has also made me come down. It’s just that, my understanding to these subtle changes has become microscopic through my own eyes and inner voice.

These words hit me most of the time…I mean inspire…

Risin' up, back on the street Did my time, took my chances
Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet
Just a man and his will to survive

So many times, it happens too fast
You change your passion for glory
Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive

Face to face, out in the heat Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry
They stack the odds 'til we take to the street
For we kill with the skill to survive

Risin' up, straight to the top Have the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I'm not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive

I agree the rival is within me and no one else. External rivals are so superficial. That’s just to spice up this life game.

The below video is of course that of my idol, Rocky Balboa and how challenges keep coming at him when in fact he is enjoying his life. Champions are tested all the time, in that sense, I wouldn’t mind being tested at all rather than resting on my laurels.

The song- Of course by Survivor

The First Anniversary

Its one year.

I would love to say that, time flew. On this occasion, i would like to dedicate few things which kept me motivated to write about certain adventures which i experienced and to my friends who commented on my writings.

Yesterday, i happened to meet my friend Saagar's mother. Somewhere during our conversation, this blog thing came up. When i showed her my blog, i realised, my first writing was posted on 12th of Jan, one year back.



Origins:

Till Early Jan 2007

This blog was as a result of impulsive talks and hearings that i used to have along with my few friends. I knew i had something to say, not necessarily the best thing, but i had something. I got lot of things to hear about their experience and adventures.

My bro Anil, had flew from States for a quick vacation. We have conversations on gamut topics and suddenly one day, he told me a story about a person and him writing about what he feels.

I told him, 'i do that'.

In public, on the net? , he asked.

'Here's the point, its good to express things on a wider scale. Somewhere in the future, it will be a very good indicator about one;s journey in this life and things experienced.

I was writing in a diary, few days later decided to start writing on the net.

I was worried about the content and the audience i am catering to.

Well, this is not a commercial medium, atleast for time being. This medium should serve as a catalyst to express things according to my perspective.



The Metamorphosis:

Slowly, i liked sharing my adventures, my challenges, my shortcomings and how i overcame.

I do claim, it is semi-autobiographical, inspiration from my fictional heroes, and not to forget the people whom i have met so far were the main elements on this blog.

Well, special thanks to my mates who took some time off and happen to read this blog.

I feel in the end, this blog is an interpretation of life from my eyes and other sense organs. Liberties were taken, and all i achieved was to satisfy certain things within me.

Tough thing is to satisfy oneself, i did realise this.

I have changed, during this course of my blogging. And will continue to.

Change for good? C'mon give me a break, afterall, life's just an adventure and as long as the self conscious is in feel good terms, does it matter defining what good or bad is?

Till next time,

The Fear Factor!!!

Last week, mundanity returned as I started my journey (I love to call this 2km walk early morning as journey) after a long hiatus. My scheduled journey was interrupted by my travel visits to Goa, Kolkata and Chennai thrice. The wanderlust bug always coincided with my morning walks.

The weather is getting chill, as we approach the mid winter, but still that doesn’t hinder me to get out of my house at around 3 50 early mornings.
Usually, I take the main roads but the shortest route to my stop involves a narrow lane.

I have heard stories in various parts of Bangalore about dog menace. Since I love this shift timing when compared to ‘general shift’, I don’t mind waking up early.

There are reasons which motivate me to get up early. First thing would be, ‘I am a loser if I do not get up, Let what people thing about me being zany, but to me, I would be one loser and ultimately, if I don’t live up to my expectations, does it matter satisfying others in the long run?

I like taking weird routes at times, early mornings provide me an opportunity to walk in dead silence. Since, my house is on the main road, silence is premium which we hardly get. So it’s a good thing to walk through the mist, albeit cool breeze can sometimes be too tough to handle. Nevertheless, we are humans and we have evolved and adapted to various conditions, so more exposure, we shall be alright.

I prefer talking during the next few minutes about how I want my life to go. It makes sense to me to hear what I say since no one around me is making noise. If I am bugging myself, I simply count the steps I take and I ensure over the week, I would have reached a constant number while counting. This is just to ensure how concentrated I am for a particular task when gamut topics and issues are competing to finish ahead in the brain marathon.

I am awake when the whole world is sleeping, % wise, I am correct with this statement. I am walking when others are tired or just about enjoying their sleep. I am getting a chance to utilize this morning to make suitable changes in my life and be better at things which I believed was good previously. I am getting a chance to utilize these early hours to my advantage and finish things which in turn makes me feel as though I have gained time on others.

Ok, enough of me being explicit on why I like early mornings.

The fear element is there, at times, in the past I have chosen different roads to reach since the road ahead were patrolled by dogs occasionally.

I fiddled around four different ways before settling on to the least risk path. Mind you, I was scared one day when group of dogs were just barking as though they haven’t opened their mouth in a long time.

It reached a point wherein the least risk path was also getting affected. Now I loved this road and route. So one day I decided, ‘Its karma’, if I am suppose to be bitten by a dog, I cannot avoid. Slowly I started walking past them, goose bumps all over my body as I went passed them.

Woof, what a relief. The other side of fear is freedom.

Last week, a ferocious dog, just one, was barking and staring at me simultaneously. It was scary. Two seconds, I decided to walk straight without bothering what it might do.

It started barking more, but I was marching ahead without looking at it.

Barking intensity increased but I could notice, it was moving backwards and barking.

Now, I was looking at the dog and approaching it, it was moving backwards and barking. It stopped finally and ran away, stopped and as I went past it, it didn’t do anything.

Am I lucky??? You can club me into that category.

But I would like to look at it this way.

The rest of my walk was more on thinking as to why dog behaved this way.

‘Fear was – Being bitten by the dog.’

Last year, fear was, climbing Mount Abu but I overcame it by facing that fear of losing than avoiding it.

To be frank, I faced fear and started walking towards it. Now all I can think of is,

Exposing to the unknown. I always felt, I feared when I encountered a new situation and fear element was as a result of many uncertainties involved pertaining to what if this new thing goes wrong.

Now, same applied to the dog, when dog barks, normal reaction would be to back off and go backwards or runaway fearing dog bites. Now, this is what a dog expects.

I did completely opposite and to my surprise, I saw dog moving backwards and eventually ceased its ferocity as I kept marching. It was exposed to a zone of uncertainty and hence fear element would creep, so it was confused as to what needs to be done, and by the time it decides, I was through……….

So, in a way, this did give me to understand what ‘Walking towards fear rather than away’ actually meant.

It’s a nice story isn’t it? The one in which I emerged victorious. Things could have been different if dog would have behaved badly or I encountering a mad dog.

But, I always feel, as a student of life, one needs to look at it in all respects, so this time I was convinced ‘You can walk towards your fears and emerge triumphant’. Next time, it may or it may not. But I am happy that I did something different than last time and it worked.

I got reminded of a quote from Anne Frank:
“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.”

Well, this was just an experience I wanted to share as to how I experimented with my life when same situation encountered. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

Ok, my journey to work is about 90 minutes which is enough for me to catch up on sleep to and fro which makes me sleep at the same time others or in general majority of people choose to sleep.

So what can happen to me tomorrow????

Let’s put it this way….. I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today and never been in such deep love.

It will take some time to pull off those lines in full conviction, but effort has to be made and what better day than today and the best time would be now……….

Om Shanti Om

Fortnight ago one Sunday, I watched OSO (Om Shanti Om). To be frank, quite a mundane movie. The good part was the '31 Stars' video and Deepika Padukone. Overall, it was a time pass movie. I dont want to criticise this movie because it is a super hit (that's what public says).
Well, Farah Khan does know what it takes to make a hit movie. People with no expectations would have appreciated this movie much better. Overall, a slight improvement over her previous movie, Main Hoon Naa. I guess, some people just know what clicks in this ever vacillating film business.

The highlight of the movie: People who have watched tend to agree with. In a parody of Filmfare Awards, there is a nomination of Best Actor category. Akshay Kumar gets his nomination in the movie 'Return of the Khiladi'. The rushes shown were just too brilliant. Watch this video

Now Watch this : This one's my favourite

The Above video is from the 2003 Swedish Movie 'Kopps'. Well, OSO was not just about Indian cinemas of yesteryears relived, but a touch of international as well.

Life is a bar of chocolate.............

I am back, after a while, where in I had planned many times to fill this up. Most of the times, situations made me to be in a position of lurking at things.

The question is what made me to write after a long time??

First thing, I didn’t want my blog to sere up without any new additions, secondly, I really enjoy writing my adventures or in simple terms, I just love writing what I feel like.

Finally, this happens to be the reason for this particular blog post.

18 years back, we all know Sachin made his debut. But this isn’t about it. Somewhere in Bangalore, I was a school going student and that time I was in class one.

I used to commute via rickshaw which was hired just to pick and drop me to school and home. I used to be agog to play my peevish or say pettish tricks which did make some of my fellow mates and teachers (not everyone though) go mad. Chocolates, I love them. I never forced anyone to have chocolates and always fought with my sister to have her share also.
I am the happiest guy, when I see chocolates and people not liking them. How can someone hate chocolates?
The answer is simple, ‘How can you hate having curds?’ Many people ask me this. I can understand, but curds and chocolates cannot be compared. But who cares, if people don’t like chocolates.

REWIND:
One day while I was getting ready to go to school (1989), I saw an advert of Campco bar chocolate in the newspaper. I wanted this badly. My dad didn’t concur with my incessant pleading. I even threatened not going to school, if I didn’t get my Campco.
Finally, my dad agreed and he promised me he will get one in the evening. I refused and forced him to get this choco bar at that moment.

By this time, the pick up auto had come. I had to go to School. I refused to get inside the auto. After a while, my dad gave in. I asked my dad to come along with me to school. On our way to school, I knew a shop that used to sell these Campco bars. So my dad was forced to come along with me in the auto. He was leaving to work and many times, he used to take the same route to catch his bus to work. He came along with me with his suitcase which had many of his files in it.

I was so happy. I could just imagine how well, the bar would be melting inside my mouth. I felt like a mollycoddle.
Just before the shop, there is a crossroad, wherein my dad usually used to take right and I was supposed to go straight on the same road to school. I was surprised when he asked the auto guy to stop at the crossroad.

I asked, ‘The shop is not here, why stopping?’

My dad got down and instructed the auto driver to go to school. That’s it.

I was shattered and I kept shouting my dad’s name. By the way, I call him ‘Anna’. I kept shouting ‘Anna, Anna………’

Tears…….. I was furious and I just couldn’t stop myself crying and shouting for what happened. The auto was heading towards the school and I was shouting for not having got my chocolate bar. I did complain my mom about this incident. My dad, the usual way, just started laughing about it.
To be frank, I don’t remember, whether I got my choco bar. My instinct says I did get it after few days. Now, no matter what, I can never forgive my dad for what he did. I just can't get over this, even though its a silly matter.

I never raise this ‘so-called’ kinder- heart breaking issue with him, but this incident happens to be my recurring dream. It keeps coming back to me.
I have cried when I was alone many times when I just think about this incident.

Now, last Sunday, I had kept my chocolates safely in the freezer. My sister’s share along with mine was both kept. Later, when I returned, I saw, there wasn’t to be any more left. I was furious and asked my sister about this. She pointed out, ‘dad had your share’.
Now, I just told ‘Dad, why you have to do all these things, I still get reminded of what you did to me when I was a kid?’
Although, my dad and sis didn’t have much clue as to which incident I was mentioning. I was upset. With a smile, I went back to my room and that’s it.

One thing, its silly, but many things do stay like this and when I look back, my dad has given me many things I have asked him for, then why I need to be unhappy about what happened when I was a kid.

Last year, I had promised my niece, I would be getting her fruit cake that night so that she could carry them to school the next day. I failed to live up to my promise, and I did call up my sister to say I am sorry, I just didn’t get any. She said ‘It seems you had promised her’.
I had to leave early next morning to work. Just when I was about to leave, I got reminded of the above incident and how bad I felt for not getting what I was promised.

My niece won’t understand why I didn’t get it. She might forget this after some time. But, I didn’t want to take chances and I didn’t want to give an inch so that she feels bad for not getting her fruit cake.
Instead of catching the cab, I waited for one and half hours so that, the confectionary guy opened his store and after some time, I took a parcel of fruit cake.
I went to my niece’s place. She was taking bath. I just kept it on the table.

My sis asked, ‘Why you had to do all these things, you should have gone to work, she is young and she will forget it within a day’.
I just replied, ‘I just know how it feels, especially when young, when you don’t get after a promise was made’.
I left. I was a relieved man. That evening, I was playing with my niece, ‘Thank you Mamu for the cake’, she remarked.

A smile on her face and it was very satisfying for me.

My Favourite Chocolate quote : "Life is a box of chocolates, you never know which one you get". In my case, i just know, when i missed it.

The Stick Game!!! Chak De

I am writing this as a fond memory of a person who was instrumental in me picking up a game which I wasn’t aware at that time (1991-92), although it was short lived.

Meet, Dr. KrishnaSwamy, a highly respected doctor, who was revered for his skills as a doctor in Chintamani, Kolar district. He retired and spent later part of his life with each of his son’s place. (3 to 6 months on a shift basis).

To me, he was known as a person whom I heard my cousins calling him ‘Doctor Thatha (Dr. Grandpa)’. This was how I knew him when I was barely 3 years old. Since, I do not remember much time spending with him till I reached 7 years; I am unable to recall any sort of interaction with him prior to this.

It was 1991 and towards the end of the year, I vividly remember, he was staying at our place. By this time, I was famous or say infamous at times for my antics both at home and everywhere my parents took me along. Dennis the Menace, my nickname and co-incidentally Dennis is also the name of one of my sporting idols (Dennis Bergkemp from Netherlands).

Flash Back 1991-92:
Early morning, I used to wake up. My grandpa would be chatting with my mom. He used to be a helping hand to my mom, making her task a bit easy by cutting the vegetables and catering other needs. He just loved doing all such things especially pertaining to kitchen stuff.
I fondly remember, one day, unwittingly I asked him; ‘I am 7 years, how old are you?’
I didn’t get an answer, he just replied, I am too old. I didn’t question him further.

He wasn’t the urbane sort of doctors I had seen previously. Doctors to me were the people who were associated with syringes, vitriolic tablets; which my mom used to crush and dissolve it in hot water for appeasing me whenever I refused to swallow a tablet.

I never believed the fact that he was a doctor. He never dressed up like one and never had a clinic. Although, I did see him go to our neighbour’s house now and then and do a routine check up, mainly through words and at times by prescribing few medicines.

He was bald, had a charming face, and used to smile very often. Never, I saw him get depressed either with his age related problems or any other issues. He was vivacious and that helped me because I never liked people who were idle and morose. I wanted everyone to play alongside me or at least allow me to play my pranks.

555 was his brand which I wasn’t aware till I caught him once in the restroom and asked him, what’s this smoke doing here and why it is smelling bad and vitiating our restroom ???
He was embarrassed and later my dad told me, it’s same as what your uncles do. That was it, I mean, it was an explanation for what we call ‘smoking’ and somehow I wasn’t curious ever after in my life to find out what exactly it was or how it tasted.

One thing I was fascinated about my grandpa was the way he used to feed me right after I returned from school. He used to make a glass of hot milk for me, it had boost in it. I used to love boost because it was associated with cricketers. I am not sure, whether Sachin used to endorse it in 1991, but I am sure after 1992 World Cup, Kapil Dev and Sachin did endorse the brand.

Later, I had a penchant to the taste of Bournvita powder compared to boost; hence I stopped drinking boost, instead started eating lots of Bournvita powder for which my teeth used to be coated with brown powder and my mom and dad used to blast me.
Till the age of 15, I was addicted to eat Bournvita powder.

My grandpa hated me for one reason. I used to run away with his walking stick whenever he wasn’t using. Be it while he was at our neighbour’s place or at our place, he was always being vexed by me and especially when I used to snatch his walking stick in front of him.

He used to shout and I knew, it was momentarily, because he wasn’t vindictive in his approach, not even complaining to my parents. But whenever I did this in front of my parents, my mom used to give me a glare but my dad never said anything.

Now what was in this stick that made me go crazy over it? I was a fervent follower of sports, mainly cricket and tennis at that time.
I had my cricket bat but I used to use this stick to imitate an innings of a cricketer when he had scored big runs, replicating shot by shot, giving commentary to myself, (it had similar words those used by the commentators) and used to enjoy vicariously what a cricketer went through.

Sometime, after 1992 Cricket World Cup, I read a funny name in one of the sports columns of Deccan Herald. In local language his last name sounded funny. ‘Pillay’ and I used to call many people as Chota Pillay (small dwarf). I was 8 years and look at me; I used to call my peers by this name.

He played a game, what I called as ‘stick game’. And believe it or not, the hockey stick resembled my grandpa’s walking stick.

After a yearning Cricket World Cup for the Indian team and us having to watch others play, Olympics was something which everyone were looking for. I was sad not to see India in the 1992 World Cup finals, but cricket was my priority and religion, so it didn’t matter at all.

After getting impressed with the game of hockey, I used his stick to play hockey in our house compound. Using tennis ball, I used to dribble and scored goals with wall being the goal post.

I never played this sport outside our compound because, only I had the stick and not even a single friend had a grandpa who used walking sticks. Quite healthy those grandpas I must admit. Mind you, it wasn’t easy at that time to buy a hockey stick because; we had just bought a cricket kit and my parents and my friend’s parents didn’t agree when we asked for a hockey stick.

So hockey happened to be a solo sport for me.
But, crazy that I was, few months later when we bought cricket wickets, we used that to play hockey.

My grandpa’s hockey stick, I mean, walking stick served my so called ‘an insane’ ambition of playing hockey.

This routine of stealing his stick continued for months.

Oct, 1992. A grand party was arranged at our terrace. All possible cousins and relatives gathered on this occasion. The occasion was: ‘Grandpa’s birthday’.
On top of the chocolate cake, these words were creamed –‘Grand Dad 82’. The party was organized by my father and my paternal uncles.
“My grandpa is 82 years”, wondered I.

Instant ramification of the party was to see my grandpa being shifted to one of my uncle’s house. Although, it was very close to our house, I could sense a void of him not being there. Of course, it wasn’t just for the stick, but I really missed him.

Four months later, in Feb, 1993, he passed away at our uncle’s place while my mom was feeding him with a glass of water. He was diabetic and hence the heart attack he suffered didn’t come to our notice. I was at home sleeping when he departed.
Next day, it was just hard to believe that he was no more. I had seen people die in the movies, but, to me, this was the first time I ever had to witness the lamenting situation.
Being a grandson, I was made to do some rituals, just like my other cousins performed.

The stick was burnt along with his body and except for few photos and memories; there aren’t any vestiges of him left with me.

Some years back, I did find few letters which he had written to my mom while he was at our uncle’s place. He used to mention my mom as ‘DIL’ (Daughter-in-law) in short, while he wrote his daily routine and other things.

I haven’t seen the movie, ‘Chak De India’ till date. I haven’t seen full promos of the movie till date. All I have heard is, it resembles the life story of Mir Ranjan Negi, former Indian hockey player, it’s a good movie and Preethi Sabarwhal played by Segarika Ghatge is hot.

But the whole notion of the movie being based on our national game brought back those days when I used to snatch the walking stick from my grandpa.

In hindsight, I feel, I would have enjoyed a lot more talking many things about life with him if he were to be around today.
Rather than cribbing about him not being there, I was at least destined to have met him even if it was for a short time.

I never played hockey from past 13-14 years, because it never suited my fellow mates, also, we enjoyed cricket, soccer, tennis and baseball more than hockey.

I hope the trend changes and soon we see hockey reach the heights once again and add more Olympic gold medals with 8 already being won (World record – 6 in a row from 1928 Amsterdam to 1956 Melbourne). The last one was at Moscow in 1980.

This is to my grandpa and his wonderful walking stick. Hope grandpa’s walking sticks can do wonders to reignite the passion of hockey which is at its nadir at the moment.

Love Story - My Way

There are events which are not certain. When that uncertainty surfaces on our life, things shall not be the same. For a moment, many things we encounter tend to obfuscate us.
Past experiences will help at times to see through the situation or else we need to experience it for the first time.
Many things will be fresh and it is what one learns out of it and uses it effectively next time around, the individuals stand out.
The situation will precipice on the mind. One such situation is to decide about parting ways.

It is really confounding to take a decision when to part and more importantly whom to part with. Being humans, we are controlled by several motives. Ultimately it boils down to personal ethics and personal benefits. Benefits can come through ethics but it is subjective.

To me, truth is much bigger than what we see, hear or experience. What we get is just part of it.

I recently read “Love Story” by Eric Segal. For me the novel’s quote inspired me to read this book.

The word ‘Preppie’ used by the lover girl to call her lover boy gives me Goosebumps.

I hear things must be done this way, that way. Similarly I have heard many times as to how a relationship must work. At times, one shall get good advice but to generalize all situations to one is highly preposterous.

Like I said, we tend to generalize with what we call as reality and this reality is relative and can rise to many opinions which all might sound logical but it might not be the right key.

The book shows the narrator and hero Oliver IV being obnoxious when it came to his dad (Oliver III) and his behavior. It just showcased an over wrought individual having walked under the glory of his father all through his life.

Never really a sincere effort was made to reconcile his differences with his dad.

A girl named Jennifer came into Oliver’s life. He was rich and she was poor.

He claimed that she wasn’t that great looking and she just replied “I know. But can I help it if you think so?”

It was more than just physical attraction. Complete opposites but still they didn’t require some sort of occult to make them get attracted and fall in love.

The next question after love sows its seeds in their hearts. She wasn’t really sure whether the relationship would work because of her background.

He was serious and he did leave his parents for her.
This is how the story proceeds further. I don’t want it to be continued here.

Rather I would appreciate the quote which made me read this book.

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry”.

For most things I would agree with this because love can come only when we accept each other the way we are. At times, things won’t be perfect and we tend to be prone to errors. Hence, if sorry could reverse the aftermath of a decision then the ‘sorry’ word will be equivalent to a dose of panacea.

But since yesterday, I started to wonder the other side of this quote.
I was made to think
“Hey, what do I mean love means never having to say your sorry?"

“Love means being able to say your sorry when you have hurt the person you love so much... and being able to forgive.....”

We are emotionally fixed to certain limits. Hence the word sorry can soothe the disturbed souls.

To me, the above two quotes summed up the pristinely words ‘love and relationship’. In a way, both are different sides of a same coin.

Also, love need not be the only thing which can bind two people. There are many factors associated with it. Just like a dish is made up of many ingredients which contribute to its good taste, similarly a good relationship is not based only on love.

To me, Only Love is not enough.

Regarding the sorry thingies, apology comes and even the concerned is forgiven. It was love which made one apologize and it was the same reciprocation of love the one was forgiven.

I don’t know whether this line holds good- We meet to part and part to meet. Maybe our paths meet some day.

And who said the feelings for the special one you love is perpetual?

It can; but to me,

“It takes someone very special to help you forget someone very special.”

Till we discover that very special it will be a little tough to forget someone very special.

“Thanks Ollie” was her last words.

She wasn’t to be a part of his life for a long time but she did play a role in binding the uncouth differences a son had of his father. At least they ended up being together.

Life isn’t that cruel after all. From what I have learnt, each one has to fight his/her own battles.

To end

He will be asking these questions for some time:

"What can you say about a twenty three old girl who died and wasn’t part of me? That she was beautiful and brilliant? That she loved music, candles, books, power, public affection and me???"