Last few months have been quite an experience both academically and on personal front. Things which were available at ease have ceased to exist.In turn, I am learning many new things which will be beneficial as I move ahead. To be honest, technology has ensured we keep in touch with people all across the world. Its easy, yet, we rely on the fact that we are just one touch away from getting connected. So, Honey, Why not later? Whatever.....
Just a small info, I am currently doing my post graduation studies at AISTS (http://www.aists.org/). The subject is Sports Technology and Administration. Yes, its an interesting course for people who love sports and also for people who want to make a career in sports.
The interesting part of this course is that, it is recognised and co-founded by International Olympic Commitee (http://www.olympic.org/). AISTS is situated inside the campus of EPFL at Lausanne, which is also known as the 'Olympic Capital'. The course involves, Sports Managment and Economics, Sports Law, Sports Technology, Sports Medicine and Sociology of Sports. It involves other topics like Extended learning, Transdisciplinary and projects like Team project, Personal project and finally an Internship.
I love Sports, so in a way, it reached a stage as to why not study something about Sports? I do agree, for every decision we have to evaluate our options. I havent taken this course because its cool to study sports. I have a history and it hurts.
I am no good sportsman, I am not worth even being one, because i didnt possess the most vital elements required to be an athlete. That is 'Will and a Purpose'. Years have past. Yes, I was good at playing, but it was just leisure. I never gave myself a chance and in short I wasnt bold enough to take. Thats the truth.
Truth bites, it sure does. How long can I survive, without having to breathe about Sports? Mom was right, she did her best, but I didnt have the will and didnt have the guts to accept it and make a career in Sports.
My Dad was good at basketball and table tennis. Mom did her bit at badminton. What did I do? Sports Quizzing, well thats not great. Its Nothing. This is the ghost, that haunts me and it always did. Its sick, earlier, I didnt even try and just found excuses in order to cover my face. Well, now, it aint no more.
I had a chance to learn that, there isnt always gonna be a second opportunity in life. And all these last few years went in wondering, "What's next best to being an athlete?"
Involve in Sports?
I loved my previous job, but you see, I cant be a human while I carry a ghost around me. I dont know where my future lies, but onething is sure, I never thought I would be here, this time last year. Infact I didnt even think about this course till June the 6th. One particular incident changed my mind. People may call it 'coincidence'. I know it isnt. I applied for a reason to this University within 5 days of deadline and the application reached on the day of the deadline. Anticipation of being with someone will always make you feel better and with this hope, I went ahead. Luck had it, I got the admission. Are you listening someone?
But guess what, I am alone, should I say, 'Alone in the Ring'. Surely, I have no regrets whatsoever. This is how my life was designed and it was all fabricated by my choices. Now, I dont want to be an athlete, but giving myself a shot at being a 'Sports lover' and doing something in Sports Industry would be a nice redemption.
'Alone in the Ring' makes me introspect, sometimes gives confidence and sometimes pulls me down. There are special people in my life whom I look upto, share my feelings and they are very much there. But most times, when I see or hear from them about their lives, perspectives and state of mind, I find it better at those times to just stick to my motions and move on. Everytime is the not the right time to share.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, October 10, 2008
A Writer's Mis(s)-Inspiration
I do have belief in the concept of “Change”. Having perception oriented world around you, it’s always hard to come to conclusion whether things are for better or worse. In any case, experience is attached irrespective of the state of mind we are.
I had an opportunity to meet a person while I was flying from New Delhi to Bangalore. He had everything going for him, in terms of career, a decent family and steady romantic relationship. He told, it wasn’t steady with respect to his girl friend, and it took them 3 years and two break ups to get to this steady state.
One of the things I got to know was his talent for writing essays on philosophy, cars, music and especially about relationship. He doesn’t have a blog to address them, but maintains a note book to pen his thoughts.
He showed me the book and it was empty for last few months. He says he has become too lazy to write these days. Fair enough, responsibilities on the career front were stopping him to an extent. But, at the same time, he was frustrated about the fact that he wasn’t able to write.
He was kind enough to let me read few articles. According to me, the best ones were scattered here and there. Some of them showed his unintentional writing, I mean, writing just for the sake of it, not having a soul.
I pointed this to him and he did agree.
Now the next question…. “Sir, what has been the greatest source of motivation or say inspiration to write such things?”
“Pain….. It’s something which is very much required to bring out the best at least for me. When I look back, I feel my creativity was at its best when I had a hard time with either my family or with my girl friend. I wanted some amount of stir inside me to bring out the feelings, and to be honest, my best writings were when I had something inside, some uneasiness. When I wasn’t with my girl friend, I thought that period to be a great motivating factor because I really loved her and I wasn’t able to convey and convince how much I missed her. All this energy was put on my writings and friends said it was well written, that included my girl friend too”.
Aren’t you being harsh on your girl friend by concluding like this? I asked
“Initially, I did not think this to be the reason. But, if you look back, my best writings came when there wasn’t any clarity in our relationship. Now it’s clear much clear than what it was. You know, I don’t mind this writing. I don’t want to hurt my girl friend by telling what I feel and the reason for my inability to write anymore the way I used to.”
At this point of time, I wasn’t convinced with his argument. It was a sign of him losing his touch since he feels he doesn’t have anything to say to her about how much he cared and loved. I was wondering how his girl friend would react if she finds out about this.
Usually I don’t interfere in people’s way of working or living. But at that time, I felt I had something to say. Also, he did ask my opinion. I chose not to be a diplomat.
“The path of self discovery is very interesting. Now when we decide that this is the person, we are stopping our discovery channel and instead switch to exploring the person on a regular basis. This can be a judgmental call and one has to back oneself and be convinced. It depends what you expect from a partner. If it doesn’t match in the first step, is there any point of exploring. When you say, you are very peace with yourself after getting back with your girlfriend, then it s a positive sign. Life isn’t all about writing masterpieces. If the distance away from your girl friend was your main source of inspiration then think about the kind of inspiration she can be, now that she is even closer. I am sure she doesn’t want you to be upset because of her. I understand we do have our own ways of getting inspired but to me, it isn’t the right way to judge or conclude. If I were in your position, I would have expressed my feelings to the concerned and would find newer ways of looking at things.
In a way, this gives a chance for you to write about things in a different way rather than looking at the same monotonous way. Its time you accepted the reality and allow the change to interact with your writing and analytical skills. Its time for a change the way you looked at things. You asked for my opinion and I have given mine”
He was surprised and looked at me in a suspicious way and asked me “Have you ever gone through something like this?”
I was made to shut within no time. But I did reply, “It doesn’t matter whether I went through this all. I can say, at least I wouldn’t blame anyone but me. I have decided for the little skills I have, it’s me and my own responsibility to find constant inspirations to keep it going. Its tough at times, but beauty of nature and life is such that, it will give a lot of sources, it’s only up to us to choose them” I hope this answers your question.
Didn’t realize, Bangalore was such a short journey. He was in a hurry, we exchanged numbers and that was it. And before saying goodbye, he said, he will look into what ever I had said.
In the end, it didn’t matter, whether it was because of me he got back to his writing ways, I hope he feels great about writing again without having to blame someone else.
I had an opportunity to meet a person while I was flying from New Delhi to Bangalore. He had everything going for him, in terms of career, a decent family and steady romantic relationship. He told, it wasn’t steady with respect to his girl friend, and it took them 3 years and two break ups to get to this steady state.
One of the things I got to know was his talent for writing essays on philosophy, cars, music and especially about relationship. He doesn’t have a blog to address them, but maintains a note book to pen his thoughts.
He showed me the book and it was empty for last few months. He says he has become too lazy to write these days. Fair enough, responsibilities on the career front were stopping him to an extent. But, at the same time, he was frustrated about the fact that he wasn’t able to write.
He was kind enough to let me read few articles. According to me, the best ones were scattered here and there. Some of them showed his unintentional writing, I mean, writing just for the sake of it, not having a soul.
I pointed this to him and he did agree.
Now the next question…. “Sir, what has been the greatest source of motivation or say inspiration to write such things?”
“Pain….. It’s something which is very much required to bring out the best at least for me. When I look back, I feel my creativity was at its best when I had a hard time with either my family or with my girl friend. I wanted some amount of stir inside me to bring out the feelings, and to be honest, my best writings were when I had something inside, some uneasiness. When I wasn’t with my girl friend, I thought that period to be a great motivating factor because I really loved her and I wasn’t able to convey and convince how much I missed her. All this energy was put on my writings and friends said it was well written, that included my girl friend too”.
Aren’t you being harsh on your girl friend by concluding like this? I asked
“Initially, I did not think this to be the reason. But, if you look back, my best writings came when there wasn’t any clarity in our relationship. Now it’s clear much clear than what it was. You know, I don’t mind this writing. I don’t want to hurt my girl friend by telling what I feel and the reason for my inability to write anymore the way I used to.”
At this point of time, I wasn’t convinced with his argument. It was a sign of him losing his touch since he feels he doesn’t have anything to say to her about how much he cared and loved. I was wondering how his girl friend would react if she finds out about this.
Usually I don’t interfere in people’s way of working or living. But at that time, I felt I had something to say. Also, he did ask my opinion. I chose not to be a diplomat.
“The path of self discovery is very interesting. Now when we decide that this is the person, we are stopping our discovery channel and instead switch to exploring the person on a regular basis. This can be a judgmental call and one has to back oneself and be convinced. It depends what you expect from a partner. If it doesn’t match in the first step, is there any point of exploring. When you say, you are very peace with yourself after getting back with your girlfriend, then it s a positive sign. Life isn’t all about writing masterpieces. If the distance away from your girl friend was your main source of inspiration then think about the kind of inspiration she can be, now that she is even closer. I am sure she doesn’t want you to be upset because of her. I understand we do have our own ways of getting inspired but to me, it isn’t the right way to judge or conclude. If I were in your position, I would have expressed my feelings to the concerned and would find newer ways of looking at things.
In a way, this gives a chance for you to write about things in a different way rather than looking at the same monotonous way. Its time you accepted the reality and allow the change to interact with your writing and analytical skills. Its time for a change the way you looked at things. You asked for my opinion and I have given mine”
He was surprised and looked at me in a suspicious way and asked me “Have you ever gone through something like this?”
I was made to shut within no time. But I did reply, “It doesn’t matter whether I went through this all. I can say, at least I wouldn’t blame anyone but me. I have decided for the little skills I have, it’s me and my own responsibility to find constant inspirations to keep it going. Its tough at times, but beauty of nature and life is such that, it will give a lot of sources, it’s only up to us to choose them” I hope this answers your question.
Didn’t realize, Bangalore was such a short journey. He was in a hurry, we exchanged numbers and that was it. And before saying goodbye, he said, he will look into what ever I had said.
In the end, it didn’t matter, whether it was because of me he got back to his writing ways, I hope he feels great about writing again without having to blame someone else.
Friday, August 1, 2008
If world is so flat, So do tyres at times!!!
Few weeks back, on a Saturday morning, I saw my car tyre being flat. I was in a hurry. Thanks to my neighbour, I went in a two wheeler, got a puncture fixing boy. He didn’t have the tools to attend my problem; instead he replaced the flat tyre with a stepney, the only one present. He took the flat tyre with him and said he will get it fixed.
Ten days went by; I hadn’t been to the shop to pick it up. Busy…. I really do not know what busy means these days. I know it is different for different people. Clearly, if I look back, I should have picked it up. I was lazy…. Let’s face it.
“My uncle was undergoing an operation at St.Johns hospital. My mom wanted to see how he was doing. That evening I came home early so that we could go. It was 730 pm and we were on our way to the hospital, suddenly there was a feeling of imbalance which I sensed. I thought the roads were bumpy, but it wasn’t and I stopped the car on the side.
The rear left tyre was flat. I was livid for a moment, say few seconds. Reality does bite hard. It bites me soon enough at times to calm me down quickly.
Luckily, few meters ahead, I saw a puncture shop. Since, there was no stepney, the tyre had to be fixed and it was courtesy of a long nail, the tyre was punctured. Two tiny holes were enough to get the tyre flat. He fixed it.”
We could manage to meet our uncle, although he wasn’t in a position to recognize us.
Such situations cannot be explained …. It has to be experienced … one can just empathize.
On our way back, it was 1030 in the night. I could sense a similar vibration and to my guess it was right, a flat tyre. Again!!!
I expected front left tyre but to my surprise it was the same tyre that got its attention few hours back. Turn left, it was a puncture shop.
He had some latest mechanical tools that could fix this problem in very less time.
I realized, how lucky I was. “Tomorrow is a big day, I have to drive long distance, what if something happens and I am stuck in middle of now where with no stepney”, wondered I.
Karma surely ensured I wasn’t punished for my laziness. I learnt an important lesson, not to ignore certain things that seem so unimportant from outside.
The previous guy failed to sense there was another tiny hole, tiniest of holes.
The tyre was fixed by the new guy. Off we went.
The next day, I wasn’t left with much option. I had to rush to my customer early. I was cautious about my driving. Two days later, I got my stepney back. It was a relief.
Lessons come through actions; they are learnt more through our own mistakes than wisdom.
I do not know, how well I would have learnt from this, but I thought this was something which I could share.
Ten days went by; I hadn’t been to the shop to pick it up. Busy…. I really do not know what busy means these days. I know it is different for different people. Clearly, if I look back, I should have picked it up. I was lazy…. Let’s face it.
“My uncle was undergoing an operation at St.Johns hospital. My mom wanted to see how he was doing. That evening I came home early so that we could go. It was 730 pm and we were on our way to the hospital, suddenly there was a feeling of imbalance which I sensed. I thought the roads were bumpy, but it wasn’t and I stopped the car on the side.
The rear left tyre was flat. I was livid for a moment, say few seconds. Reality does bite hard. It bites me soon enough at times to calm me down quickly.
Luckily, few meters ahead, I saw a puncture shop. Since, there was no stepney, the tyre had to be fixed and it was courtesy of a long nail, the tyre was punctured. Two tiny holes were enough to get the tyre flat. He fixed it.”
We could manage to meet our uncle, although he wasn’t in a position to recognize us.
Such situations cannot be explained …. It has to be experienced … one can just empathize.
On our way back, it was 1030 in the night. I could sense a similar vibration and to my guess it was right, a flat tyre. Again!!!
I expected front left tyre but to my surprise it was the same tyre that got its attention few hours back. Turn left, it was a puncture shop.
He had some latest mechanical tools that could fix this problem in very less time.
I realized, how lucky I was. “Tomorrow is a big day, I have to drive long distance, what if something happens and I am stuck in middle of now where with no stepney”, wondered I.
Karma surely ensured I wasn’t punished for my laziness. I learnt an important lesson, not to ignore certain things that seem so unimportant from outside.
The previous guy failed to sense there was another tiny hole, tiniest of holes.
The tyre was fixed by the new guy. Off we went.
The next day, I wasn’t left with much option. I had to rush to my customer early. I was cautious about my driving. Two days later, I got my stepney back. It was a relief.
Lessons come through actions; they are learnt more through our own mistakes than wisdom.
I do not know, how well I would have learnt from this, but I thought this was something which I could share.
Monday, June 30, 2008
"Out of my Instinct Zone"
Few things in life must not be changed, yes I indeed agree with it, unless the replacements are worth for a change.
An instinct each one possesses is a unique strength that demarcates individuals, their decision-making abilities and choice making.
To me personally, I have always trusted my instincts to take control over most situations. It’s not a maxim that I have set; in my brain. It’s a routine or one can say a mundane activity that controls most (99%) of the decisions wherein I do not have to think so much. It’s more in-built.
While on work or doing something different, requires fair amount of new ideas, Can I rely upon my instincts? Well, this question was asked and I did find a solution that seems apt so far.
When one makes decisions we back our experience, expertise and other’s experience. We look into prevailing situations and then end up taking a decision. Before executing, sometimes, I have encountered two possibilities.
One that is defined by logic; wherein one can come to some conclusion with the events that have taken place. This seems to be the best possible solution because it can be backed by certain data or events that have occurred previously. It doesn’t leave much scope for ifs, but’s and eliminates most of the uncertainties.
On the other hand, I have this personality called ‘Mr. Instinct’ who has this sense for the changes that are likely to happen in the future. The logic is very ill logical in this case and it simply doesn’t have a set pattern to explain the unfolding of the events.
Most of my struggles in life were to convince my mind, which takes sound decisions based on facts. Where as instincts, which creates its own route map, tries to convince me to take a decision based on his ill defined logic. But it works trust me.
Dare I say, very rarely I have gone against my instincts. I am indeed fortunate to have a mind and an instinct and their theories to agree to disagree. They agree on most terms and other times, one eventually compromises saying I had made a wrong decision and ends up supporting the other decision.
For the first time, in my life, I have taken a decision that is in direct conflict with my instincts. Now, instincts aren’t behaving the same way. It is indicating the past events and the present situations to keep me reminded about my decision.
If I am unsure, I let time do the talking. I wanted time for making an important decision in my life. I know it could have been a straightforward decision for the state of mind I was.
Finally after weeks on self – assessment, I came to conclusion. I am not backing my instincts.
I am backing my beliefs and my theory towards life. These are logical.
Wait a minute – “you just can’t take decisions without convincing me, hey look, I understand I have difference in views but convince me first and then go ahead with your decision” – Instinct in a repulsive mood.
This made me think a bit more…. C’mon after all someone’s asking me something and I should give. If instinct is asking me to think over again, then I must.
After few days, Fine, Mr. Instinct, I am again going against you. I know it hurts or say it will hurt me in the future for having gone against you or for having expressed my inability to convince you, but I am sure you will be there to support me in other things apart from this. This will be a nice change for both of us.
What made me go against my instincts??
I always believed, in order to attain a greater sense of achievement in life, its not what you conquer, its not what you did, its how you did.
I have few beliefs, which I have acquired as a result of living this life, watching, traveling, reading and by having conversations.
“One must always give another chance, I know it might not work out, but I am not going to lose anything because the equilibrium of karma puts it this way, when you are gaining something, you are bound to lose. Unless we do not experience we cannot say what we gained or lost, we can just have an idea, although one cannot fathom it.” – First reason
“I always told my friends if you want something in life, go ask for it. You will at least get clarity in terms of response you get. So, if you want something from someone, go ask for it. At times, life is too short to play mind and understanding games, one need to express to get what they want.” – Second Reason
Now, someone close (is it?? Asked instinct) to you comes all of a sudden and asks for something… What do you do???
This time I didn’t rely upon my instincts for memories I had. Instead I have taken this as a challenge to convince my instincts that let time heal this… I know time alone cannot heal; it’s my ability to ward off negative energies from my instincts and also the concerned person and situations. If all are in same plane or at least align in one particular direction, then future seems bright or else, I need to answer this question from a book I read….
On the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, which is considered to be highest peak in Africa, there is a carcass of a jackal on the dry snow layers at the peak. Now the question is, why would a jackal go to such an area in the first place, what made it to go such a distance?
Did it know it wouldn’t be getting any food or shelter over there? Why did it go??
I know the answer as to why it went there. Sometimes, we do sense the scent wrong. It seems foolishness for a jackal to go that far. But it just followed the scent and in the end it turned out to be the wrong scent. It followed its instincts and it failed…. Or I would like to put it this way; this so called ‘failure’ became a great example for my life.
I know Ernst Hemingway mentioned the puzzle…. But the solution to it is entirely mine or should I say interpretation based on my experience. The difference between a man and an animal is that man is capable of establishing priorities.
I might change this in the future… because I really don’t know whether I would also end up following the wrong scent of life… I really haven’t followed jackal’s life to come to a proper conclusion.
At present I can say…. I have challenged my norms and for at least one issue I am out of my instinct zone…. It’s a battle nevertheless to prove my decision right to my instincts.
Ultimately, this isn’t any wish. Being with a person I like is a goal…. a long term. This isn’t like any other unformed wish like “I want to make money, I want to win or I want to find true love”. These wishes aren’t goals as per my definition. I want to enjoy the intermediate steps associated with the goals. Analyze them, correct whenever necessary and keep moving on.
At last, this is the hardest part….. Having gone out of my instincts, I have to ensure I retain the confidence and be able to stick to whatever I have decided upon.
Edison remarked “Success is defined as 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration”.
Well, I am all ready for 99% perspiration…. Unless and until I get 1 % inspiration from time to time….
From who?
It’s a million dollar question…..
An instinct each one possesses is a unique strength that demarcates individuals, their decision-making abilities and choice making.
To me personally, I have always trusted my instincts to take control over most situations. It’s not a maxim that I have set; in my brain. It’s a routine or one can say a mundane activity that controls most (99%) of the decisions wherein I do not have to think so much. It’s more in-built.
While on work or doing something different, requires fair amount of new ideas, Can I rely upon my instincts? Well, this question was asked and I did find a solution that seems apt so far.
When one makes decisions we back our experience, expertise and other’s experience. We look into prevailing situations and then end up taking a decision. Before executing, sometimes, I have encountered two possibilities.
One that is defined by logic; wherein one can come to some conclusion with the events that have taken place. This seems to be the best possible solution because it can be backed by certain data or events that have occurred previously. It doesn’t leave much scope for ifs, but’s and eliminates most of the uncertainties.
On the other hand, I have this personality called ‘Mr. Instinct’ who has this sense for the changes that are likely to happen in the future. The logic is very ill logical in this case and it simply doesn’t have a set pattern to explain the unfolding of the events.
Most of my struggles in life were to convince my mind, which takes sound decisions based on facts. Where as instincts, which creates its own route map, tries to convince me to take a decision based on his ill defined logic. But it works trust me.
Dare I say, very rarely I have gone against my instincts. I am indeed fortunate to have a mind and an instinct and their theories to agree to disagree. They agree on most terms and other times, one eventually compromises saying I had made a wrong decision and ends up supporting the other decision.
For the first time, in my life, I have taken a decision that is in direct conflict with my instincts. Now, instincts aren’t behaving the same way. It is indicating the past events and the present situations to keep me reminded about my decision.
If I am unsure, I let time do the talking. I wanted time for making an important decision in my life. I know it could have been a straightforward decision for the state of mind I was.
Finally after weeks on self – assessment, I came to conclusion. I am not backing my instincts.
I am backing my beliefs and my theory towards life. These are logical.
Wait a minute – “you just can’t take decisions without convincing me, hey look, I understand I have difference in views but convince me first and then go ahead with your decision” – Instinct in a repulsive mood.
This made me think a bit more…. C’mon after all someone’s asking me something and I should give. If instinct is asking me to think over again, then I must.
After few days, Fine, Mr. Instinct, I am again going against you. I know it hurts or say it will hurt me in the future for having gone against you or for having expressed my inability to convince you, but I am sure you will be there to support me in other things apart from this. This will be a nice change for both of us.
What made me go against my instincts??
I always believed, in order to attain a greater sense of achievement in life, its not what you conquer, its not what you did, its how you did.
I have few beliefs, which I have acquired as a result of living this life, watching, traveling, reading and by having conversations.
“One must always give another chance, I know it might not work out, but I am not going to lose anything because the equilibrium of karma puts it this way, when you are gaining something, you are bound to lose. Unless we do not experience we cannot say what we gained or lost, we can just have an idea, although one cannot fathom it.” – First reason
“I always told my friends if you want something in life, go ask for it. You will at least get clarity in terms of response you get. So, if you want something from someone, go ask for it. At times, life is too short to play mind and understanding games, one need to express to get what they want.” – Second Reason
Now, someone close (is it?? Asked instinct) to you comes all of a sudden and asks for something… What do you do???
This time I didn’t rely upon my instincts for memories I had. Instead I have taken this as a challenge to convince my instincts that let time heal this… I know time alone cannot heal; it’s my ability to ward off negative energies from my instincts and also the concerned person and situations. If all are in same plane or at least align in one particular direction, then future seems bright or else, I need to answer this question from a book I read….
On the top of Mount Kilimanjaro, which is considered to be highest peak in Africa, there is a carcass of a jackal on the dry snow layers at the peak. Now the question is, why would a jackal go to such an area in the first place, what made it to go such a distance?
Did it know it wouldn’t be getting any food or shelter over there? Why did it go??
I know the answer as to why it went there. Sometimes, we do sense the scent wrong. It seems foolishness for a jackal to go that far. But it just followed the scent and in the end it turned out to be the wrong scent. It followed its instincts and it failed…. Or I would like to put it this way; this so called ‘failure’ became a great example for my life.
I know Ernst Hemingway mentioned the puzzle…. But the solution to it is entirely mine or should I say interpretation based on my experience. The difference between a man and an animal is that man is capable of establishing priorities.
I might change this in the future… because I really don’t know whether I would also end up following the wrong scent of life… I really haven’t followed jackal’s life to come to a proper conclusion.
At present I can say…. I have challenged my norms and for at least one issue I am out of my instinct zone…. It’s a battle nevertheless to prove my decision right to my instincts.
Ultimately, this isn’t any wish. Being with a person I like is a goal…. a long term. This isn’t like any other unformed wish like “I want to make money, I want to win or I want to find true love”. These wishes aren’t goals as per my definition. I want to enjoy the intermediate steps associated with the goals. Analyze them, correct whenever necessary and keep moving on.
At last, this is the hardest part….. Having gone out of my instincts, I have to ensure I retain the confidence and be able to stick to whatever I have decided upon.
Edison remarked “Success is defined as 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration”.
Well, I am all ready for 99% perspiration…. Unless and until I get 1 % inspiration from time to time….
From who?
It’s a million dollar question…..
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
The bitter taste of Orange...
The fascination of Orange… not the fruit just the pulp…was something I always cherish till date.
It wasn’t just the color or the pulp. But the soccer team of Netherlands, that caught my attention during the 1998 World Cup. Ok, I was still a Brazil fan, I still am to an extent, but none can argue my passion for the Orangee team. My friends know that…
Barring the 1988 Euro Championships, Dutch have never been able to win any major title. Too bad for a country that is second to none in the talent they have. I dare, say, even Brazil can be taken off if Dutch play to their potential.
They say if talent were alone a consideration, then you would have many successful people in this world. Test of nerves and how a team copes with adversity and the bounce back ability makes other successful teams go one touch ahead than Dutch.
Ok, there are teams like Italy (I love their defense), Argentina, Nigeria in their hey days, it’s too many teams. But for me, it’s been four teams that always catch my attention.
Dutch, Germany, Brazil and Italy – They are my pick.
Marco Van Basten would have loved to add his player’s medal, which he won in 1988 after scoring one of the best goals ever in the history.
One would like to know what’s wrong with Dutch soccer team. The legacy of Rinus Michel with his total football concept (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_Football)and the genius of Johann Cryuff in the 70’s make me wonder, why they can’t jump the final hurdle to perfection. They lost in the finals of 1974 and 1978 World Cup finals. The precision of ‘Clockwork Orange’ as they were more famously known wasn’t in sync for the big games.
I would love in the future to make a case study of Dutch football… Right now, I am on Italian football history or should I term it ‘Calcio’.
Well, my disappointments make me not to script an emotional script because; I do not want to criticize Dutch for the football they play. With time, I have come to terms with their mood swings with a swing of flair and brilliance to the sheer clueless, cornered football they play.
My status message was ‘Go Orangee’ for the past one week. And they just went away. If one looks at the history, you can sense why the coach Van basten didn’t react to their loss to Russia. People, who have followed Dutch football, claim it isn’t a shock, because they can lose anytime. Also, I did get to know, people in Holland just went about their life after witnessing this loss. They have just got used to this. Hats off to them for being stoic in general and just look at the positive aspects of Dutch football.
I didn’t watch the match; I was traveling from Chennai to Bangalore. First thing I did was to check the score. Well, I don’t know…. Forget it… sometimes its better not to think…
But I end up thinking …. And rest all I say is my fascination for Dutch…. I mean for the soccer team.
Remember these titans: My pick for all time favourite Dutch team
Ronald de Boer, Frank De Boer, Jaap Staam, Edwin Van der Saar, Giovanni Bronckhurst, Marc Overmars, Rudd Van Nistelrooy, Arjen Robben, Patrick Kluivert, Clarence Seedorf, Michael reiziger, Danny Blind, Edgar Davids, Marco Van Basten, Johnny Heitiga, Ronald Koeman, Andy Van Der Myde, Frank Rijkaard, Rudd Guilt, Wesley Sneijder, Johann Cryuff, Philip Cocu and last but not the least my all time favourite Dennis Bergkemp.
It wasn’t just the color or the pulp. But the soccer team of Netherlands, that caught my attention during the 1998 World Cup. Ok, I was still a Brazil fan, I still am to an extent, but none can argue my passion for the Orangee team. My friends know that…
Barring the 1988 Euro Championships, Dutch have never been able to win any major title. Too bad for a country that is second to none in the talent they have. I dare, say, even Brazil can be taken off if Dutch play to their potential.
They say if talent were alone a consideration, then you would have many successful people in this world. Test of nerves and how a team copes with adversity and the bounce back ability makes other successful teams go one touch ahead than Dutch.
Ok, there are teams like Italy (I love their defense), Argentina, Nigeria in their hey days, it’s too many teams. But for me, it’s been four teams that always catch my attention.
Dutch, Germany, Brazil and Italy – They are my pick.
Marco Van Basten would have loved to add his player’s medal, which he won in 1988 after scoring one of the best goals ever in the history.
One would like to know what’s wrong with Dutch soccer team. The legacy of Rinus Michel with his total football concept (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_Football)and the genius of Johann Cryuff in the 70’s make me wonder, why they can’t jump the final hurdle to perfection. They lost in the finals of 1974 and 1978 World Cup finals. The precision of ‘Clockwork Orange’ as they were more famously known wasn’t in sync for the big games.
I would love in the future to make a case study of Dutch football… Right now, I am on Italian football history or should I term it ‘Calcio’.
Well, my disappointments make me not to script an emotional script because; I do not want to criticize Dutch for the football they play. With time, I have come to terms with their mood swings with a swing of flair and brilliance to the sheer clueless, cornered football they play.
My status message was ‘Go Orangee’ for the past one week. And they just went away. If one looks at the history, you can sense why the coach Van basten didn’t react to their loss to Russia. People, who have followed Dutch football, claim it isn’t a shock, because they can lose anytime. Also, I did get to know, people in Holland just went about their life after witnessing this loss. They have just got used to this. Hats off to them for being stoic in general and just look at the positive aspects of Dutch football.
I didn’t watch the match; I was traveling from Chennai to Bangalore. First thing I did was to check the score. Well, I don’t know…. Forget it… sometimes its better not to think…
But I end up thinking …. And rest all I say is my fascination for Dutch…. I mean for the soccer team.
Remember these titans: My pick for all time favourite Dutch team
Ronald de Boer, Frank De Boer, Jaap Staam, Edwin Van der Saar, Giovanni Bronckhurst, Marc Overmars, Rudd Van Nistelrooy, Arjen Robben, Patrick Kluivert, Clarence Seedorf, Michael reiziger, Danny Blind, Edgar Davids, Marco Van Basten, Johnny Heitiga, Ronald Koeman, Andy Van Der Myde, Frank Rijkaard, Rudd Guilt, Wesley Sneijder, Johann Cryuff, Philip Cocu and last but not the least my all time favourite Dennis Bergkemp.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Love Story - Or should i say "My Story"
Is it fair to love someone and just be happy with it?
Is it fair to love someone when you get to know the concerned person is in love with another person?
Is it fair to love someone when you are not sure the other person loves the concerned person as much as you do?
To be honest, I am not sure why I am asking these questions when I already feel that I am in love. Maybe, these questions are to see how people react when I say more about the person I am in love with.
Even if I get the answers to my above questions I don’t think I will be disturbed and at the same time I must shed my egoistic jacket when I am convinced that the other person loves the concerned more than me. I know there are two involved for the same girl. It’s really interesting.
Considering it was the same way both the guys met the concerned girl, one must give both parties a fair run.
Ok, in this case, I am late, I don’t know by how many days but I am not the first guy.
Will I be the victim of first cum first service?
Or, will justice prevail to show that you need to weigh your options before zeroing it on one?
The universal answer, “Time shall heal”. What a brilliant solution…… Unfortunately, I am way behind in terms of tolerance but at least I am improving to understand the beauty of this universal solution.
People talk about confidence and I can say my confident quotient was high when I was in love. Person irrelevant, but I always feel, loving someone increased my confidence levels and in turn my appetite. It still continues to do. I think it is same for everyone.
I have heard things like ‘Rising in love’ and ‘falling in love’. To be honest I still cannot fathom these two statements but for the fact– Rising in love is more optimistic and a fundoo statement to make than falling in love.
Does falling in love sound negative? If falling is negative when compared with rising, is falling in love a negative thing.
I was wondering, people including myself have spoken about rising to new heights, but I haven’t seen anyone talk about falling to new depths.
I have and I feel there isn’t any negativity about it. In fact, falling to new depths have made me dig deeper to make myself aware of my foundation and it has made me much stronger and now I know certain other ways to bolster my foundation.
I don’t know if I would have tasted the success by reaching the top, would my airy ego allow or say settle down on earth for a moment? It’s something I can comment only when I have climbed the ladder of my definition of success.
Loving someone isn’t a crime even when I am not getting the same love from the other.
However there are few things that needs to be under ethical check and as long as I do not cross those boundaries, I don’t see any harm in loving someone.
According to me, loving someone doesn’t mean she belongs entirely to me or she is my property. To me, loving someone is all about a feeling, a feeling inside which reminds me about my ability to love someone and not hate them. It’s about seeing the one I love being happy irrespective of how she chooses to be happy. Of course, it’s the internal happiness not the plastic happiness.
Well, people might term “one way love” being useless. True, to a certain extent depending on one’s intention and definition of what love is. In a way, ego controls most of our decisions and so do our interpretations of love.
I love her; people may call it infatuation, since it isn’t the usual mundane love story. When I do tell about my love, mostly I will be sounding like an idiot according to general public. All I say, I might sound like an idiot, but even I know what love is.
I am writing so that, I want to respect the new girl of my life. I know, chances are slim about us being together, but I won’t be disappointed either. It hurts but isn’t this the other side of joy?
I wont be taking it in a bad way if things doesn’t go as I like because I didn’t know when I fell in love and my mistake is, I didn’t ask her “Can I love you ………?”
One thing is sure, whether she will be a part of me or not, I still won’t have ill feelings about having met her and to have gone through not so pleasant moments. I like the honesty in which she put forth her status quo and that to me was something which normal human wouldn’t dare. In a way, I found a person who prefers to take things head on. She is beautiful, but it was the honesty which captured me towards her.
If I look back, I have moved on. All I can say, I couldn’t have imagined myself being in a position where in I would be able to love a girl again, at least so early after having learnt few lessons from the previous. I know love happens and for me it has happened.
The fizz might reduce after some reality check but nothing can stop me from loving her at least as a friend. Like an angel she came, reignited the lost passion in me. To my dear, I will always remember you for the role of a catalyst you played in my life. No one except me can acknowledge this. It might be crazy that I am gonna remember you always but I also know it’s completely humane to remember someone, if not one’s past.
This is me, coming out completely from an incomplete love story or should I say ‘like story’ because the girl before her was confused whether she loved me or liked me.
People eventually realize what’s best for them and move on or at least they try to move on irrespective of whether they really like to move on.
This is my story and I am only happy and thrilled to have rediscovered the touch of loving someone……………
Is it fair to love someone when you get to know the concerned person is in love with another person?
Is it fair to love someone when you are not sure the other person loves the concerned person as much as you do?
To be honest, I am not sure why I am asking these questions when I already feel that I am in love. Maybe, these questions are to see how people react when I say more about the person I am in love with.
Even if I get the answers to my above questions I don’t think I will be disturbed and at the same time I must shed my egoistic jacket when I am convinced that the other person loves the concerned more than me. I know there are two involved for the same girl. It’s really interesting.
Considering it was the same way both the guys met the concerned girl, one must give both parties a fair run.
Ok, in this case, I am late, I don’t know by how many days but I am not the first guy.
Will I be the victim of first cum first service?
Or, will justice prevail to show that you need to weigh your options before zeroing it on one?
The universal answer, “Time shall heal”. What a brilliant solution…… Unfortunately, I am way behind in terms of tolerance but at least I am improving to understand the beauty of this universal solution.
People talk about confidence and I can say my confident quotient was high when I was in love. Person irrelevant, but I always feel, loving someone increased my confidence levels and in turn my appetite. It still continues to do. I think it is same for everyone.
I have heard things like ‘Rising in love’ and ‘falling in love’. To be honest I still cannot fathom these two statements but for the fact– Rising in love is more optimistic and a fundoo statement to make than falling in love.
Does falling in love sound negative? If falling is negative when compared with rising, is falling in love a negative thing.
I was wondering, people including myself have spoken about rising to new heights, but I haven’t seen anyone talk about falling to new depths.
I have and I feel there isn’t any negativity about it. In fact, falling to new depths have made me dig deeper to make myself aware of my foundation and it has made me much stronger and now I know certain other ways to bolster my foundation.
I don’t know if I would have tasted the success by reaching the top, would my airy ego allow or say settle down on earth for a moment? It’s something I can comment only when I have climbed the ladder of my definition of success.
Loving someone isn’t a crime even when I am not getting the same love from the other.
However there are few things that needs to be under ethical check and as long as I do not cross those boundaries, I don’t see any harm in loving someone.
According to me, loving someone doesn’t mean she belongs entirely to me or she is my property. To me, loving someone is all about a feeling, a feeling inside which reminds me about my ability to love someone and not hate them. It’s about seeing the one I love being happy irrespective of how she chooses to be happy. Of course, it’s the internal happiness not the plastic happiness.
Well, people might term “one way love” being useless. True, to a certain extent depending on one’s intention and definition of what love is. In a way, ego controls most of our decisions and so do our interpretations of love.
I love her; people may call it infatuation, since it isn’t the usual mundane love story. When I do tell about my love, mostly I will be sounding like an idiot according to general public. All I say, I might sound like an idiot, but even I know what love is.
I am writing so that, I want to respect the new girl of my life. I know, chances are slim about us being together, but I won’t be disappointed either. It hurts but isn’t this the other side of joy?
I wont be taking it in a bad way if things doesn’t go as I like because I didn’t know when I fell in love and my mistake is, I didn’t ask her “Can I love you ………?”
One thing is sure, whether she will be a part of me or not, I still won’t have ill feelings about having met her and to have gone through not so pleasant moments. I like the honesty in which she put forth her status quo and that to me was something which normal human wouldn’t dare. In a way, I found a person who prefers to take things head on. She is beautiful, but it was the honesty which captured me towards her.
If I look back, I have moved on. All I can say, I couldn’t have imagined myself being in a position where in I would be able to love a girl again, at least so early after having learnt few lessons from the previous. I know love happens and for me it has happened.
The fizz might reduce after some reality check but nothing can stop me from loving her at least as a friend. Like an angel she came, reignited the lost passion in me. To my dear, I will always remember you for the role of a catalyst you played in my life. No one except me can acknowledge this. It might be crazy that I am gonna remember you always but I also know it’s completely humane to remember someone, if not one’s past.
This is me, coming out completely from an incomplete love story or should I say ‘like story’ because the girl before her was confused whether she loved me or liked me.
People eventually realize what’s best for them and move on or at least they try to move on irrespective of whether they really like to move on.
This is my story and I am only happy and thrilled to have rediscovered the touch of loving someone……………
Monday, March 3, 2008
Memoirs of my departed crush!!!
Two events last night made me to remember her…
One of them has to be my friend Archie’s blog on singers and the other one was the video I happened to see on MTV …
It brought back the memories of 1995. Till then I always listened to songs but never really had a favorite voice that I used to listen often.
I remember in 95, Anupama Verma did a video for Biddu. The song and video somehow became my favourite. I got the CD few years later as a gift for buying an audio player. Guess, I got loads of collections of pop Indian music and this album was placed right after Alisha’s “Made in
I am talking about the Pakistani Sensation, Nazia Hasan.
Well to be honest, I never wanted to know about her life except that I was fida over her voice and especially ‘Boom Boom’ song.
In the archives, Nazia Hasan – 1980- Best Playback Singer, and later that day I got to know she was born in 1965. I was like wondering the whole day, she was as old as me, when she picked up the award.
These are the few pics; that will last forever within me
All I had listened, was remix songs of hers barring few originals.
In 2000, came a song – sometime in May during my holidays…. I remember the song that goes this way “Aankhen Milane wala…”. I knew it was Nazia Hasan’s voice.
She continued to live on….memories of many like me.
I was like, OMG, is this the original song? All I got was last 40-50 seconds of that song. Of course the saving grace was the movie title that appeared in the end. The movie name was” Star”.
After a while, from no where, I was thinking about Nazia, and wondered, “I haven’t seen many people of my age appreciate Nazia’s talent.”
For more info - www.naziahassan.co.uk
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