A LIfe Less Ordinary!!! More Extraordinary

Hi…..

Where do I start this?
Sometimes I feel why I should hit against a wall.

Am I sane to do it? It's tough to get answers to such questions. Then
I do realize by introspection that, it's not wall, she is a human
being and whom I regard forever as a good friend to have met (even if
it was only once).

Hence comparing you with the wall is the silliest analogy I can ever think of.

Then what it is?

All these days I just hoped you end up having hassle free life. And
hope is all I can give you at this moment.

I do believe, the most pristine relationship in this world is the
relationship between a mother and her children. Innocence is at its
peak when they start developing relationship very early in their
lives. The sad part is, it keeps deteriorating slowly and differences
do creep in eventually. This is a fact.

After 23 years (Not yet, one more month to go), Even I feel the pinch
when I try to manipulate things with my mother. It is tough to be
frank at all times. Why?

I am aware of things than previously and as time goes it becomes
eventually tough on my part to maintain or get back to that level of
innocence I once had as a child.

The more I think about this aspect, I feel, I am allowing the outer
elements to control and in turn hamper the innocence. This is no
theory and it's completely pragmatic in every which way we would like
to think.

Now this explains the theory "Change is the only constant thing". So
true, if changes can occur to a pristine relationship of that of a
mother and her children, then why do we point fingers at other
relationships and feel bad about it when it didn't work.

By being frank at critical situations one can still retain the
innocence, because changes can occur for better too.

All it takes is choice and effort to back the choice.

With this enlightenment, I am trying to deal with trivial issues with
a bigger picture in mind.

No wonder, a good movie looks better on a big screen than on a small screen.

If we are making a movie of our lives, I completely agree with
individuals to choose their own cast. Stories, screenplays, editing,
suspense, climax, thriller, comedy etc it's all up to us to direct our
thoughts to make a life time movie.

Generally, many movies include "cameos". He gets appreciated only when
he completes the job which a main character is inhibited to do.

It is our wish to extend the cameo's role. But extension of cameo's
role must not affect the movie.

At the same time, one cannot ignore the importance of him. So we
choose him either to please the public so that he could help us to
make our movie a little better than what it is.

Or, we want him because we are convinced that he is there to play an
important role.

This convincing act must be one's own.

I do remember the lines which you told me "There is a reason as to why
we both met".

I don't know whether you know the reason, but I certainly do. All I
need is, time from your kitty bag to tell what changes I have made in
my life and the new career path I am looking at. I really don't know
whether I would get some time from you, but you see,
one needs to be optimistic and I am confident one day I will get that
"time" from you even if you try hard not to give. Hehehe

Like they say "Good things will always come to an end, if they aren't
good, then it's not the end yet".

I hope you got all the answers and you've come to understand that
people and things are always going to change and you can't stop them
now.

I know for the fact, I cannot help or be there for all your problems.
And trust me no one will be there also for all the problems. Time is
the only comforter one can get.
Try and you will get some time from others, but only if you try. Trust
me, not every one is selfish and there are people who will be willing
to help without any motive only if you give them a chance.

In the end, we are all separate; our stories, no matter how similar,
come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our
similarities, but it is our differences we must learn to respect.

This is the Quote of my life: "No one except me can spoil my life;
it's me and my choices which eventually would change my life"




Let me try….. An Enrique song for you……..

I have modified this for you….

Every day here you came for chatting (on g-talk)
and held your fingers; hence we don't do much talking via chatting
when I asked "How are you"?
You say you're happy and you're doin' fine
Well go ahead, baby, I got plenty of time
Sad eyes never lie
Sad eyes never lie

Well for a while I've been watching you unsteady
Ain't gonna move from the friendship 'til you're good and ready
You show up and then you shy away
But I know preeti( pretty) soon you'll be walkin' this way
Sad eyes never lie
Sad eyes never lie

Baby don't you know I do care
Don't you know that I've been there( not always though)
Well if something in the air feels a little unkind
Don't worry darling, it'll slip your mind

I know you think you'd never be my friend
Well that's okay, baby, I don't mind your trend
the photo shy smile of yours( on orkut) is sweet, that's a fact
Go ahead, I don't mind the act ( of you not being in touch)

Here you come all planned up for a date to meet
Well one more step and it'll be too late to treat
Adversity might make you feely lonely here and there
I am sure that you're so sure I'll be standing there
Sad eyes never lie
Sad eyes never lie
Sad eyes never lie
Sad eyes never lie

Why being so fussy on Peter and MJ??

First, why do people with super powers not given the time to explain as to what they want in return to the services they do to the man kind?

I am not pointing towards the iconic Superman or other super heroes of the comic world.

To me, just like heroes have special powers, the anti-heroes do possess similar sort of powers. Then why do heroes always win at the end of each raging battle which encapsulates every individual who has come to watch at the cinema halls.

It is the heart of a hero which makes him bigger than the biggest of all anti-heroes.
Every individual does possess this special power in him. Circumstances will make him either to choose the best of him/her or the worst.

Although, this power is not the exact replica of the one shown in comics, but the overall idea is very similar.
Take comics, we have Spiderman who carries the burden of people’s expectations on one hand and on the other hand, the identity of Peter Parker which he needs to retain.

For instance, human emotions can be easily recognized with Spiderman than say for example Superman. Spiderman was created in earth, whereas Superman arrived from Krypton.
Hence, the lone side of Peter Parker is very pragmatic compared to Clark Kent. Also, Peter is more family oriented and basically very inquisitive about other aspects of life.

His love life however is very interesting and realistic. He loves MJ, his first love of his life. He had hidden his feelings for her and was just a good friend. In fact, he was much more than a friend at times. From an audience point of view, it was evident; he loved her and only her.

Poor old MJ, she did realize in the end where her heart was and did a brave thing opting out of marriage to be with Spiderman, in spite of knowing the consequences. She had this attitude “Let’s see”, without even thinking how hard it can be, being with someone who doesn’t talk when needed, always on the move and more importantly he is quite different from her except for the love which they have for each other and with it the respect.

Except for meeting and sharing few romantic moments with each other, I didn’t see them doing anything which would be beneficial for their future. She keeps thinking and hesitates to tell him or rather she doesn’t get the right time to tell him as to what she thinks and feels. So she is disappointed and at the same time her career doesn’t seem to be going right. Overall she is one frustrated girl who has a lot of expectations even though she doesn’t quite express them.

Peter, well he is high on confidence and has MJ and no other girl on his mind. Even though he does interact with lots of them at research and college, his head is firm about MJ and no other.

Now, Peter on his own is brilliant with MJ and they do rock when ever they meet. On such occasions both are mad about each other and they share a comfortable bubble around them. They never felt insecure.

Problem starts when Peter has to switch over his role to Spiderman where in he cannot be thinking about MJ or his personal life. He is there for others and in turn this might be not so easy for MJ at times.

Since she is associated with Peter, she will have to face certain consequences for which she isn’t quite ready to take a risk. Peter is one guy who never expresses his problems to others but he is the first person who will be ready to solve other’s problems. This mind set of his becomes very difficult for MJ to cope with because he is being much stronger than what she is.

Also, he is being more confident and successful at what he is doing; this adds extra pressure on MJ to do well. I shall never blame MJ for that because, she isn’t head strong at all times, she keeps changing her decisions based on her mood swings. She is in the mind set “He never understands me”. The point is, she never expressed, still expects him to be there. Now this is bit tough on him and their relationship, but she does set such high standards for herself even though she knows she would never succeed in it. That’s her.

Peter plans to be with her for rest of his life. He fails to understand her and thinks by giving the freedom to her to do whatever she wants to do; he is actually being not bossy in the relationship. But she doesn’t want this freedom, she wants him, she wants him to listen, understand and just do that. Similarly, MJ cannot understand the responsibilities and standards which Peter sets for him. It’s tough for her.

Probably he didn’t give her much time owing to many other commitments but that’s not the excuse. Somewhere, they both got so much freedom that; they started enjoying the silence of their relationship rather than the constant chatting which used to be the case previously before being in a relationship.

In the past( before the relationship), they used to trust each other lots, used to talk, used to enjoy each other’s company lots and both used to think of each other when crisis knocked their doors. They still trust, but expectations started to slowly kill the relationship.

While in a relationship, they chose others to solve and hear their problems.

The problem was never with them, they both are the best of friends one can ever get in life.

Add little relationship dimension into it, the whole equilibrium gets disturbed. Both have changed in terms of keeping the same old things. Somewhere, relationship broke the foundation with which they built their friendship castle.

Peter is self-motivated person where as MJ isn’t.

Now, 2 part series is enough to realize that, they cannot motivate each other in a relationship. Without the tag of relationship, trust me, they will be inseparable as friends and will last forever. You need to try to know whether it is possible or not possible. They just realized it’s not possible for them in a relationship.

Somewhere both of them will feel it’s not the same rapport they share, what they had before getting into this relationship. I guess parting ways for the sake of friendship will be the best thing to do. Somewhere I feel they can be only friends not couples.

If the relationship doesn’t work, the beauty of their old friendship is that, they are not gonna curse each other or blame each other for the failure of their relationship. It was the attitude of MJ “Let’s try”, both of them did try, but didn’t work out. But they are gonna get stronger as friends once they forget the relationship aspect.

From viewer’s point of view, it would be great if these two great friends be together for rest of their lives. Good Idea, as long as the tag of relationship isn’t there.

While she plans to depart from the relationship, because Peter would never initiate it no matter what. She puts the message, and he tries to change her decision but she wouldn’t. All he thinks while he watches her going away-
“Yes we love each other. We love more than any other person in this world and there is nothing that we would like better than to hold on to each other forever. But she thinks it's not for the best .Its her choice. So no matter how much my heart is going to break; I've got to let her go, so she can know just how much I love her. Maybe if I'm lucky, she'll come back, but if not, I can make it through this”

Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.

Of all the romantic moments they shared, things change over a period of time. This was the moment in their lives. It shows the love they had for each other.

Just when the siren sounds loud and sadly, he is gonna miss the words......." Go get them Tiger".

And then he shoots his web on a building and goes on with his life.

Now this will be the thing for the fourth part of the series. Add few anti- heroes we will find a brilliant movie grossing millions of dollars again.

The fifth part???? Who cares? All depends on how Peter and MJ want to be together. Things can change, some are reversible others aren’t.

Meet My Inner Voice

End of a very good week, especially intellectual on personal terms and a good week at work too.

I discovered a lot of things about myself over past one week by introspection and how to improve things so that I can get the joy of seeing others around me happy.... if I am not all that happy.

Somewhere I was thinking, by being nice to someone else, is it me being selfish??
Then it confused me for a while, and then inside me, a voice kept telling
... "Do you feel bad about the way you behave in your life or say
any regrets",
I said "NO".....
"Do you feel bad when you do not get acknowledged for the efforts you have
put in", the inner voice asked me...
"I said, sometimes I do feel bad, because I really don't know whether
what I did was right or wrong and since there is no reply from the
other end, hence no feedback, so I get confused at times, I then go into the phase of introspection and actually I don’t feel that bad at the end of it, if its good, good, if its bad, scope for improvement"

Later the voice asked me" Do u feel at peace and joy when you see
others happy and being joy"
I said" Yes, sometimes I feel, the purpose of me being born is to make
others happy and seeing their smile and them being happy, I will be happy,
No doubts about that, making others feel comfortable and happy is my
driving force"

He asked me" What if you are trying to please people?"
I said" Oh I got it! It’s my instinct which drives to make others life
happy, as long as this instinct survives and receives proper fodder
for survival, it is gonna be ok..... Being a human, it is little tough
sometimes, but then the overall picture comes to my mind, I just think,
I shouldn't be bothered about trivial things, my life is gonna be
great in the path I am traveling now, all I need to do is stay where
I am and just move along the same road.

There will be many pot holes and speed breakers and many different roads, but it is entirely up to me to become aware of them so that I don't lose my way when I arrive
at a junction, this is where I will be meeting many beautiful and not
so beautiful people, there is something I feel I can do by being
myself, so that I can cheer other’s life for a moment when they
desperately need it, but they never asked for it.

The joy I get when I see others being happy, I feel content and if lucky they are gonna be my companions for the rest of my life, if not, its unfortunate that we
just met at a traffic signal or say at a junction or a pit stop.
There will be many such occasions where we all gonna bump into each other
and get a chance to review, if at all we can become companions again or we might not get a chance.

But sometimes, I thinking of a junction ahead than about the junction I am
at present is not all that good. One needs to enjoy one junction at a time
and then progress further, you never know, Kal Ho Na Ho.

But it’s worth giving a shot, there’s nothing to lose. By giving away
something of one’s is never losing, we lose things which were not at
all ours in the first place, but how superficially it appears all the
time?"

The voice said" Enough of your lecture man, when you know what
needs to be done then why you pestering me with such questions?"

I said" Just for kicks, that’s all..... To be frank it’s for a moment I feel I need someone who can comfort me with words and assure me that “everything is gonna be alright”, and make me understand the person I am, sometimes I lose track on such things and start thinking too much, that’s when the calming influence is necessary, but this is just a passing phase and after some time I tend to pick myself and will get back to good, but words can make me better. If I don’t get words from my dear ones I look upon you so
I just ask you (inner voice) and you are my best critic too, hence I shall always be grounded by your words"

The Voice got frustrated and said" Enough man, you are bugging, I guess you would have bugged people also by your talks and that’s why they don't prefer talking to
you" I said for supposedly the last time" True in a way, but I have seen people who
never speak that much to me but still feel good about me, and for few people they love listening and with few others I just don’t speak, just keep listening to them, hence its about being compatible and flexible with the people I meet, its tough, but instead of expecting them to change, I would love to change so that even they can change sometime for the better. It’s leading by example you see rather than accepting my inability and not trying to change.

The voice being adamant asked “How do I say this with surety?”

“Well that’s what is called my gut instinct , that’s enough for me, if I feel good inside, that will be fine, in a true Metallica way 'Nothing else matters' coz what matters is being healthy inside and automatically everything takes care of itself.”

Just when my mom called me for breakfast and very quickly I made a deal with my inner voice.

The voice eventually agreed and to an extent promised that he is going to be honest with his opinions inside me and I promised him, as long as he is honest in giving his opinions, I shall remain honest and translate his honesty into my daily life.

Mere Pass Ma Hain

Have you ever experienced the worst moment of your life? If yes, then what it is??

For me it was the night of August 29^th, a Sunday, 1999. All my cousins from paternal side had been to Balmuri falls, few kilometers from Srirangapatanam, near Mysore.

I had my tests the next day at school. Initially I was very reluctant but finally said yes, a hesitant yes, which I would probably regret later. I had taken my book along with me; somehow I didn’t enjoy the journey.

I was being incipient on that day, while all my cousins were having nice time. I don’t know, but I was having a stuffy feeling right from the day started.

First we went to Ranganatittu, a bird’s sanctuary. The boat ride along the island was something I enjoyed partially.

Even though things around me were so fun oriented, my feelings were somewhat astringent. All day long, I thought I was nervous about my tests tomorrow and that I haven’t prepared at all.

But this was not the first time. All I can say is I was very much artless that day and few of my cousins could sense that I was not all in the mood.

However earlier, one of my sights was RV College of Engineering while we were traveling, all my cousins were praising about the college. I told to myself, I hope one day, I study here.

Coming back, one of my cousins started involving me with respect to arranging things so that the whole trip goes without any hiccups.

The whole day, family around me, were being facetious to every situation they encountered. Hence there was laughter all round; still I was disjointed from the whole group even though I was physically present.

Finally sometime in the afternoon we all reached Balmuri falls. I am scared of water, in the sense by the depth of it.

I am still naïve when it comes to swimming but I am actually stepping into water whenever opportunity presents nowadays.

That day, I was held by my cousin Manju to walk across the stream, one who involved me in the trip planning activities that day so that I get involved.

I was wearing Naveen’s (another cousin) shades. I, advertently, dropped them into the water. He was so pissed. He and his brother (Nannu) tried retrieving it. It was in vain.

I was being morose at this point of time. All I wanted is to go back home and sleep.

Finally at 930 in the night we reach home to see one of our shocking sights ever. My mom and her face fully swollen, left hand covered with plaster and legs badly injured. My eyes were in tears and I just couldn’t believe something like this can happen to my mom.

She is one lady whom I respect for being independent. She never depended on others and for the fact that she had and still sets high standards in discipline; at any cost she is never gonna compromise in this regard.

Doc Report said, she had a twist in her hand and the left hand had become numb. She was not able to lift her left hand completely. Hence for the first time, she was not able to ride and few days later, doctor advised not to ride vehicles. It was a huge setback for my mom; she represented the lady who could do anything without depending on others. Riding her kinetic was her passion. Much to her dismay, it was the last day she ever attempted, its too painful mind you, even trying.

Next thing, I got to know was, she met with an accident while she was crossing the road. My mom was supposed to undergo an operation on one of her organs later next month, and to her fate the doctor’s appointment was scheduled on Sunday, hence she had to opt out of trip.

She had a hit and run incident and luckily one of her friends saw my mom on the road and admitted her to the hospital.

8 years from that day, I still feel a sense of discomfort when I think of this day.

The operation later that month became even more painful and it was tough mentally for all of us in the family. Last year in 1998, I got to know why my is such a powerful lady in the education board and just when I started developing a special bond with my mom, this happened.

Thank God, the operation went well in spite of her being unconscious for some time in the ICU. Initially we were all worried later I thought, she would be fine and become much better, after all there are still lots my Mom has to give to the society. If not us, she will definitely try making our society a better place with respect to education and children's upliftment.

After that day, I always made a special effort to keep my mom happy even when I don’t agree with her totally, I try doing things which makes her feel happy. You know something, I never felt unhappy because she never demanded things to go her way and all I had to do was, just listen as to what she says, even though it might hurt my ego sometimes, just listen…. Analyze, and in the end, I always got to know as to who was right. It was certainly not me.

One best thing about all this is, she never forced me to do anything and whatever I have asked so far, she has always given me a chance to do what I wanted as long as I did it whole heartedly.

In hindsight my mom doesn’t feel bad about her accident, all I can say is, it just made us a bit closer. Incidents like this make a relationship much stronger and for me, I am just destined that I am born to this lady.

True, that in 1975, this line became a famous hit from the movie Deewar, when Shashi Kapoor gives back a reply to Amitabh’s question and this is the one he gives: “Mere Pass Ma Hain” when asked “Aaj mere pass building hai, bank balance hai, tumhare pass kya hai?”

We might laugh when we hear this line on TV when made into spoofs, but deep down its so true and when incidents like this happen, even though I didn’t describe it in full detail, all other things becomes less important and the lady becomes our priority.

Buddha Mil Gaya

I was on my Wild West trip to Udaipur and other cities nearby. Ultimately I was so stuck with the scenery I saw in Udaipur, I didn’t feel like seeing any other city in Rajasthan. After a day of visits to city palace, Lake Palace, there was something I was missing. I didn’t mind traveling alone, infact it was great. Udaipur is full of lakes,

On our way to Mount Abu, we saw the setting of a famous song in QSQT; I wished my dear friend was around to experience the feeling alongside me.

But none could match the beauty of Gurshikar, the highest point of Mount Abu, which I was about to see in some time.

The walk we took was like a walk in the clouds, literally it was. I was accompanied by Raj and Nitin, whom I got to know from Raj. Both are from Udaipur and surprisingly, it was Raj’s first outing to Mount Abu as well.

We reached Mount Abu, at around 10:30 in the morning.

This was the entrance to Mount Abu.

Getting soaked in the clouds was something new to us, and it was hard to dissemble our feelings on experiencing such a thing.

After spending few hours at the peak, we decided to go to another place called Achalgarah. Legend has it; it was the place once Pandavas stayed during their exile.

I was not feeling well, since I am scared of heights. But I did ring the bell at the highest point of Mount Abu. Later, because of my condition, I was hesitant to visit the temple. But inside me, I felt, let me go. It might get better.

We were letting off our footwear, just when a boy held me and told me, “Saab, Guide chahiye”. I was not interested and then he told me- “Saab, sirf das rupaiya”. I got a mixed feeling, "ok, It is just 10 bucks", I wondered.

Still I was not convinced as to what made me to hire him.

After our initial visit to the Shiva temple, we started our climb to the next place, the Jain temple.

Camera wasn’t allowed inside the Jain temple.

Next stop was a kilometer climb till we reached the peak of Achalgarah. It is a proclivity in me to know about a person whoever he or she may be. I make that extra effort in knowing them.

Name: Suraj, 12 years of age studying in 6^th grade at a school which is about 8 kilometers from his house. He was our guide.

I was asking him about how he goes about his daily life-“I go to school early in the morning, I return by noon and then I start earning by being a guide. My father earns through selling dolls and my mom makes them. My brother also studies in the same class even though he is 4 years elder to me”, he smartly replied.

Interesting, I said to myself.

He later shifted his thoughts towards the reality of life. He was telling, “To be good in life, its like climbing”, we did realize, since it was getting tough as we went up step by step. Déjà vu.

He looked a normal kid, who is 3 ft tall, carried an umbrella and more importantly the right words in order to keep the tourists like us in a jolly mood even when it was little tough physically to climb. He had a torn pair of hawai chappals, but had a good grip even though he experienced the occasional slip. His shayris were assuaging to our ears.

“Saab, life has its own fun; it isn’t easy but certainly not a difficult one”, he murmured

We reached finally after a 25 min climb, we were thirsty.

Flash, he gave us a bottle of water and said drink it, it’s pure. It was indeed, the most delightful drink I ever gulped in my life and I did wash my face with it. I was rejuvenated. I had symptoms of throwing up previously, it went away. I am not joking.

He asked me- “Saab, are u from England?” I told him, why son, am I not speaking good Hindi? He replied back-“I am confused, as to how come an English guy speaking such good Hindi”.

I told him, I am a South Indian and I come from Bangalore. I wasn’t surprised either when he raised his eyebrows when he heard the word “Bangalore”.

So there you are some people still don’t have an idea about Bangalore.

Later he started telling about people’s nature. How it resembled the animal food chain. There are predators who feed on innocent, lucky people are those, who escape the slaughter of these predators. Only time decides how lucky they are. But we must not feel bad for the innocent ones because it is a pleasure to lead a life, however short it maybe.

Well, we had a puzzled look. Enigma, well I heard it in history lessons in World War II chapters, this was nothing short of it.

Soon, it started raining, he said “follow me”, and he took us to a small stone cave where space was enough for four of us to cover.

This is the cave and it was ready so that we could sit in and take shelter.

Later Suraj took us to another cave which was very dark and he told a sanyasi does his meditation inside it. Well, we didn’t want to go fully inside.

Now few people know the fact that, I have a problem with heights. I am shit scared of heights. Just when I was realizing, something needs to be done for this boy, the whole fear went and I was looking down and never before I felt like this. I was walking as though, there isn’t any fear. Even on slippery roads, I was confident I would be reaching Bangalore and write an article on him. Thanks to him, I am writing now.

By now we were convinced as to why we were here.

While returning back, he slipped and for a moment we thought, oh god, but he is a God’s gift, nothing can stop him from reaching greater heights than the peak of Achalgarah.

He showed us his hut from the top and we hoped, this kid continues to enlighten many people in the future.

Five minutes, we were down.

It took us 25 min to climb and just 5 min to come back.

He explained-“There are short cuts and long roads in life, to learn something which is good, we must never hesitate to take the longer route. He asked, whether we were satisfied by taking the longer route or shorter route?”.

We didn’t answer that question but on personal terms we did answer it and kept it to ourselves.

Little Buddha, I called him, and destined that we were to get enlightened.

As his name tells, Suraj, his face resembled the brightness of sun and his eyes, never seen such powerful eyes.

At the top of Mount Abu, and behind me are the clouds not fog.

the clouds which covered us!!!

We didn’t want him to give money because they are poachers one being his elder brother.

We wanted to give him a nice pair of slippers so that he never slips again and continues to do the good work.

We didn’t find a shop when we got down, and already his brother started approaching us and told us to give him the money since Suraj was a kid.

We gave a 50 rupee note and told Suraj to buy himself a pair of nice chappals.

We told him that we trust him and he promised us he won’t misuse the money.

As soon as he got the money, his brother came running and tried to snatch it from him.

Suraj gave him a slap, and we just groaned at his brother, he was off running to save himself from further humiliation.

All 3 of us, looked at him for one last time, he gave a smile.

If I was still wondering as to why I chose him to be the guide, I would be a fool. Luckily I didn’t ask that question.

Off we went, and that’s it. It was 2 hours with him and 120 minutes of enlightenment.

I have heard Buddha and his guiding ways, well this time around I saw, in fact we all 3 sensed it.

My trip was worthwhile and for me I got a sense about how beautiful my life can become.

It was the attitude and he certainly did show me a broader sense of being alive and being purposeful in what I do.

Hope in India, we nurture such kids. I am not worried about him, as he is strong enough to take care of himself.

If I get a chance, I want to go back and meet Suraj; I hope talking to him many would have got their questions answered.

When I am low, I know where I would get my questions answered.

Koi Mil Gaya, Maloom nahin, Buddha zaroor mila .

A hunk/ hulk who found his Ferrari

I was being profligate when I missed many opportunities to realize a lot of things in me which could have made a difference. For not achieving what I could have, my feelings were astringent. I did realize my faults within me, when I felt bad once taking pleasure in noticing faults in others.

Me being very low after missing opportunities, I always used to turn to people around me because nothing from my inner voice was acceptable. It’s almost like stone walling it.

By the way this turned out to be another mistake. I always got an answer from others perspective. Very few situations provided me the exact facts. My mom was one who made me accept the bitter medicine and advised to be pragmatic than looking out for the perfect solution, which isn’t there according to me.

One of the things I was able to achieve was me not becoming more and more credulous about things I go through. Unless I was convinced totally, I would have never agreed on a personal front but more importantly started acquiring the art of appreciating others in the way they went about life and their thoughts.

The demeanour quotient in me seemed increasing and slowly I was listening more than talking. I found a new friend who was very shy but powerful when I went to him with any of my problems.

He always had one vision and was absolute recalcitrant in the decisions he took. He never forced me to believe his thoughts but he was always right. I used to have quibbles with him over certain things but more I was arguing the more I was getting convinced that I was wrong.

It’s my fortune to say, to have found a friend in him. But he keeps telling me even he is grateful to me to have accepted him. He keeps telling me I found him in a broken down position and fixed him. But the truth is he fixed me. And I guess in a way, we fixed each other too.

He is my only friend who is available anytime and never asks anything in return. Instead he just keeps telling me, as long as I fulfill what is good for our friendship, he doesn’t want anything else.

“All my life I had been looking for something and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself”

To me, he answered all my questions and my alacrity to know more about my life and life around me in general.

True to Samuel Johnson words, almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep. I was no different and I guess I am still no different.

I don't want to do things, which would attenuate my confidence at the end of it, Even though it means sacrificing temporary pleasures.

My friend is so shy that he never opens up to others except me. I was slowly becoming the representative of his thoughts. Slowly I was embellishing his every thought and it was visible to my friends circle. I could see a change in me and my friends whom I am with since childhood also felt the change.

I remember Shirley MacLaine quoting –

I think of life itself now as a wonderful play that I've written for myself, and so my purpose is to have the utmost fun playing my part.

To be honest my friend had a great role in scripting a play for my life and the greatest quality I think I had was to trust him and I just did what he said. Sometimes I am so stupid that I don’t even think as to what is the impact it’s having on others. But I never felt acerbic while doing things in my life. However bitter moments do arise, but it’s the way you get out of it and still retain our friendship.

One thing is sure and certain; he is never going to make compromises hence he can be inimical critic. But a friend nevertheless.

One of the things I did was to express myself which was the only way of me introducing my friend to others.

Now, I never feel bad of showing my feelings, my pristine feelings or I don’t apologize for having showed also. Somewhere I feel when I apologize for my burst of pristine feelings, I apologize for the truth which is as good as losing my friend.

But I do apologize to people who are not close to me, since it’s bad on my part to expect them knowing me and accepting my behaviour.

To me, no one is greater than this friend because he never lets me separate from good friends and people that I have. All he does in a while, shows me who really are my pals and who aren’t.

If my creator wanted me to be otherwise than me, he would have created me otherwise.

And to end it all, Fanny Brice repeatedly kept telling-

“Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?”

Rocky's stronger, he definitely is!!!

How does it feel, when you are thrown out when you least wanted to??

I needed to figure it out as to what to be done next…

It s a lonely walk for a guy like me. I know my strengths and also my weakness. At least I am in the process of knowing more about it.

There will be people along the way helping you out, but you wouldn’t be taking help unless convinced, Convinced within ourselves.

Somewhere when I was walking, I did realize one of the most important lessons of my life, if I needed to be successful in what I want to do in life.

I didn’t or still don’t know a sure fire formula for success, but I got to know a sure fire formula for failure; trying to please everybody all the time.

The day I was convinced to learn this lesson, I felt a much happier person than what I was. It is not my fault for things which are not under my control and all I can do is hope for the best. That’s all.

People always call it luck when things go our way, rather than looking at things which were done, in a more sensible way than others.

Well, luck, it must be there, only when intent is there….

I do things wherein I keep asking myself: “Why do I want to do this? Is it just ego, is it going to be embarrassing?”

But like my idols say or my conscious ‘That’s what I am’. I have to be myself and be willing to stand in front of people and do what I believe in, because I am going to regret it if I didn’t.

Not doing what I want to do is worse than doing it, even if it is difficult and painful.

But the question of skills and talent comes into picture. Do we have it in us to do what we want to??

But we need to understand the message which is universal: What we lose in one part of our life, we can sometimes gain in another.

So what we lose in SKILL, we can make up for in WILL.

All we need is sheer determination.

I always get the feeling….

I can’t do it.

I can’t achieve what I want.

And then I keep telling this to myself…

I have worked hard and I am still working hard to achieve what I always dreamt of.

Yeah I been out there walkin’ around, thinkin’. I mean, who am I kiddin’? I am not even in the league of successful people.

I do get inspired and this is something I always wanted to hear when I was down and morose.

This is the inspiration….

“Yeah, that doesn’t matter. Cause I was nobody before. But my mind is not ready to accept the fact that I am nobody….”

But it is true…. I realized it…

I was thinking, it really doesn’t matter if I lose this fight in my life.

It really doesn’t matter if anything happens to me, because all I want to do is go the distance on the path I have chosen.

Very few have traveled or say gone the distance and have been successful. And if I can go that distance and you see if I am still standing at the end of it…. All I would say is

I’m gonna know for the first time in my life, see, I wasn’t just another bum from the neighborhood.

So what are my chances of succeeding??

Look, Einstein flunked out of school, twice.

Beethoven was deaf and Helen Keller was blind.

I think, I have got a good chance. At least I can give it a shot, my best shot.

Well, I guess this was in me, but I never discovered until I bumped into a character called

Rocky Balboa, my idol who’s gonna be there inspiring me whenever I need motivation the most.

As a child, I was fascinated by the boxing aspect of the movie…. Later in my life, I did realize the manner in which we both went about things in a very similar way, in the movie though.

As I watched the movie “Rocky” more and more, I just discovered a lot of things which inspired me to achieve what I wanted.

Anyone who has anger in them in one way or another or any regrets in their lives, like I certainly did, will empathize with the character.

It just gave me an inspiration to get myself out of these stuffy feelings of regret and sadness.

Rocky’s definitely gonna be stronger. At least with me though!!! And I hope it does help others as well.

Well, a must see, according to me.

Rocky(1976)